And Now For Something Really Important

For those of you who play World of Warcraft like I do obsessively, well, this might be of interest.

Actualy some of the artwork is pretty good even if you don't play it.

Stuff I Haven't Commented On

1. Harriet Miers withdrew from consideration for a seat on the Supreme Court.

2. Scooter Libby, from Dick Cheney's office, was indicted on counts of Perjury and False Statements.

It's been a good week for the Bush Administration.

On the face of it, these both look like disasters. And they are. But the disaster happened a while ago. In the Miers situation, the disaster happened when she was nominated; in the Libby case, the disaster happened when Fitzgerald opened his investigation.

Once those things happened, the Bush administration was going to face some stuff. But this week both crisises have turned out to be bad, but not as bad as they could have been (for the Bushies). Rove wasn't indicted and may not be. Nobody was charged with actually outing Valerie Plame (or Valerie Wilson as she is named in the documents). Harriet Miers withdrew because the White House refused to turn over documents, and not because of a massive split between the White House and the Conservative Base (or at least that's the official story).

It's possible both of these stories could reverse themselves. Fitzgerald could hand down further indictments. Bush's next pick for the Supreme Court could be just as problematic (well from my perspective it almost certainly will be). But for today, things are going better than they might have for the Bush Administration.

The Contest - Simplified Version

As some of you know we are deciding on a new member of the Make Me a Commentator!!! staff to host a new feature (probably on Wednesdays) that will review the various columnists and commentators that you might be interested in. The four finalists are

Puke. Angry angry punk rock girl.

Jean-Louis Crowley. British singer with French Affectations and a dark family secret.

Durango. Half Singing Cowboy, Half Squinting Cowboy.

The Post Modernist. A hero for absurdity or against absurdity, depending.

You can vote for more than one person, incidentally so feel free to do so.

New Commentator

Who should join the Make Me a Commentator Staff? Puke Jean-Louis Crowley Durango The Post Modernist Current Results

Now if you want to be entered into the contest, you still need to put your vote in the comments section of this blog. The winner of the contest (chosen randomly) will get a free subscription to Salon magazine. It's a great website, with good political commentary and constant interesting articles. At any rate if we can't contact you, you can't win. So enjoy. Oh and since this poll was created using a free site, well there's ads involved.

An Interview with The Monster

Q. So I understand you run this website?

Monster. Yes. Monster be in charge. That be Monster's way; he natural leader.

Q. So that must be a lot of hard work.

Monster. Monster no work. Monster make Cheery and others do work. Monster just in charge.

Q. But you have to make decisions.

Monster. Monster approve stuff. When Cheery get in touch with Monster. Cheery very busy person like talk a lot. Monster not carry his cellphone most of the time.

Q. So what do you do.

Monster. Monster like travel. Monster just return from Denmark. Monster have picture.



Q. Oh. Did you like it there?

Monster. Monster like it ok. Monster also visit Emerald Fangolia, which monster like better. Pretty waters. And monster visit New York.



Q. Oh yes, I gather you are voting for Durango or the Post Modernist with Random Goblin?

Monster. No. Cheery explain it not fair for me to vote. Monster not understand explanation, but Cheery keep talking so Monster say he agree. Monster agree a lot that way. Monster like Durango and Post Modernist and Random Goblin, but monster not allowed to vote.

Q. Oh. So where do you see Make me a Commentator!!! in the future?

Monster. Monster no know. Maybe monster make it a steak house. Monster like steak. Gazelle steak. Monster read where there restaurants selling ostrich burgers so maybe monster make Gazelle Steak House.

Q. That would be a real switch from what you do now.

Monster. Monster think Gazelle steak house good idea. Monster think others follow him cause he is in charge.

An Interview with Irwin J. McIckleson

Q. So you are Irwin J. McIckleson, Fictional 1910's Plutocrat?

McIckleson. That's correct.

Q. So you are fictional?

McIckleson. Yes.

Q. What does that mean?

McIckleson. I'm fabricated. I was made up by Bryant, I believe, and I have no reality outside of my appearances on this blog.

Q. Does it hurt being fictional?

McIckleson. You should know, you are just as fictional as I am.

Q. Yes, but I don't have a personality.

McIckleson. Fair enough. Fictional or not, I know who I am and what I am. So I have that to stand on.

Q. What are you?

McIckleson. I am a man of will. I have created an impressive business empire, and I control the lives of thousands. I did it because I chose to. Life is a simple matter of imposing your will on reality. It is always a struggle because others will try to force their wills as well. But if you are determined and forceful, you will emerge victorious.

Q. What do you think the future of this website is?

McIckleson. It will continue to thrive and grow.

Q. Really?

McIckleson. Yes. This website will struggle. Life is struggle. But it will overcome. There is a strength of will here that will hold things together. A certain will to succeed. I don't know whether everybody here will remain affiliated with the website. But the core people will continue to thrive.

Q. Despite the low numbers and the value of the Blog being zero and very few people participating in the promotional events?

McIckleson. That's all meaningless.

Q. Really?

McIckleson. This blog is a statement; the value of the blog is in making the statement. Whether or not the statement is heard or not is irrelevant. If I do a 'Round the Horn' feature, I do it for myself. I give not a moments thought to anybody who might read my words. [pause] The important thing is to speak, not to be heard.

Q. But if you speak and nobody listens what does it accomplish?

McIckleson. There are two things that exist. You and everybody else. But the only thing you know for sure exists is yourself. Attempting to change the universe, may not change the universe. But it will certainly change you. And that is what matters.

Q. You are more philosophical than I imagined.

McIckleson. Thank you.

Q. And for the question of the day, who do you like to join the Make Me a Commentator Staff?

McIckleson. I like Durango, at least half of him. He has a fine tenor voice, and his singing is very melodic. Of course his more . . . rough side will be interesting, but I guess it's a package deal. We will handle it.

An Interview with Bryant

10-28-02

Well this is it.

My first post to my blog, which I (my name is Bryant, in case you are interested in that sort of thing) have cleverly entitled Make me a Commentator. Why should you the adoring public support me as a commentator? There are many reasons, many involving the size of my checking account and my desire for expensive electronics, but I must admit those are largely personal reasons. The best reason I can offer you, the reader, is somewhat simpler.

Why not?

Have you read the comments of some of my fellow commentators? And let me be clear, neither the left nor the right has a monopoly on narrow ideological boneheaded commentators. I use the term boneheaded in the

You may wonder what qualifications I have to commentate on the news of the day. I don't have any, really. I read commentators often, and I have a MA in American History, but besides that my only real qualification is that I have the overwhelming arrogance to believe that my view points might matter to the random reader.

You may also wonder what my personal politics are. I generally lean towards the left on economic issues more towards the center on social issues. I believe in America. That's enough to get started, and I'll fill in the details as we go along.

Anyway that's enough of an introduction. Hope you enjoy this.

Q. So that's the text of your first post, some three years ago.

Bryant. Three years ago tomorrow. Yeah it's kind of embarrassing.

Q. Has the blog lived up to your expectations?

Bryant. Not really. But it wouldn't you see? I had certain illusions when I started this blog, as everybody does when they start something.

Q. What sort of illusions?

Bryant. Oh like that I would reach people. Or get well known. I don't know. That it would lead to something better.

Q. And you don't think it has?

Bryant. Mostly it's gone round in circles. I've done interesting things here, and things I'm proud of. But, well after three years, you have to ask what's next. And the answer can't really be more of the same.

Q. Well one could argue that you've made plenty of changes recently. Adding new commentators for example.

Bryant. Well that wasn't my call entirely; but it has turned out well in part. Certainly I like what McIckleson and Space Lobster have added. And Cheery has taken a lot of the day to day sort of nuts and bolts stuff away from me.

Q. I notice you left someone out.

Bryant. Well . . . I think Grumbly's right, when she says she hurts this blog. I mean she adds a little balance I guess, but I don't think my readers come here for balance. They come for a liberal point of view. I can only imagine what someone who comes here from Democratic Underground and reads one of her posts thinks, but I don't imagine they are in a hurry to come back. But her staying isn't my call.

Q. So what do you think about the future of this blog?

Bryant. Well I'm not as pessimistic as Grumbly Muffin, but certainly anything is possible. Part of me things we should completely shut down the blog and open a totally new one; but another part of me thinks that smacks of desperation.

Q. How do you favor to win the contest?

Bryant. I like them all really. I worry that Puke would create the same problems as Grumbly, but other than that they all seem pretty interesting.

Q. Any final thoughts?

Bryant. Tomorrow is always another day. I guess that's a good motto for anybody.

An Interview with Cheery Jetson

Q. So, Ms. Jetson, where do you think Make me a Commentator!!! is going?

Cheery Jetson. I think it's done great in the past and it's going to do great in the future. There's really nowhere to go but up. We have a great set of commentators and a great . . . format. I just am 100% optimistic about the future.

Q. Really? There have been some other on the staff who have expressed different views.

Cheery Jetson. Well there are some negative nellies on the staff I know; great writers who contribute a lot. But they tend to look at life in a glass half-empty kind of way. I'm not like that; I think it's better to be positive. Even when there are challenges.

Q. What sort of challenges do you see the website facing?

Cheery Jetson. I think it's a content challenge. I think we have an attractive look (most weeks anyway), and I think we are able to hold peoples attention for a little bit. We are able to get a first look; but that doesn't seem to translate into repeat viewership or into a more indepth look. I think that's why the reaction to the contest has been a little less than I would have hoped for.

Q. Is that frustrating to you?

Cheery Jetson. Not really. I mean I would have liked to have seen more participation; but the contest is barely half over. I'm sure other people will eventually vote, and in large numbers.

Q. So you are hopeful about the future of this site?

Cheery Jetson. Completely!

Q. Some of the others have alluded to you being sad about what is going on?

Cheery Jetson. Well I am not the easiest person to read. Possibly I was just a bit emotional thinking of how well we are doing. And there is a bit of stress setting up our anniversary party, which will be tomorrow afternoon. The Monster has ordered me to spare no expense, so it should be very enjoyable. [pause] I'm bringing Pictionary.

Q. Do you like the people you work with?

Cheery Jetson. Oh yes. They are all great. I mean Grumbly and I might disagree on politics, but in general I really feel lucky to work with such a neat group of people.

Q. So you have no complaints?

Cheery Jetson. None whatsoever.

Q. So who do you think should be the next commentator?

Cheery Jetson. I like them all, actually. That Puke is a live wire, but I'm sure we could adjust to her. And the others all seem very nice. I guess I've felt a bit of a connection to Ms. Maple Roberts, secretary to the Post-Modernist? But I like them all.

An Interview with Space Lobster

Here is the second of our six interviews with members of the staff.

Q. So what do you think your role is here at Make me a Commentator!!!?

Space Lobster. I answer the mail in the Monday Mail Bag. [long pause] That's pretty much it.

Q. What do you think of the website?

Space Lobster. I don't really read it that much, other than in while i'm responding to letters. Politics isn't really my thing. I'm more into crushing people with my mighty Pincers or ruling the world or galaxy.

Q. Do you think this website has much of a future?

Space Lobster. I really couldn't say. I know there's some question about that around the office. Cheery has cetainly been emotional the last couple of days; and she would know. [pause] I've gone through this before so I'm a bit better prepared than some of the others.

Q. What do you mean?

Space Lobster. Well the Adventures of Captain Starfaller was nearly cancelled in the middle of the first season, and I was put on suspension in the middle of the second season and nearly fired. And of course we were eventually taken off the air at the end of the fourth season.

Q. So do you think this situation is similar?

Space Lobster. Well I don't know. I know that our hits are up. We are due to break 3,000 hits this month for the first time. On the other hand that's very low compared to a lot of other websites, and the number of people who stick around who visit the site regularly seems to be limited to a very few. [pause] I think there's also a lot of emphasis being placed on the artifical date of three years. Cheery and Bryant have placed too much emphasis on this anniversary.

Q. I gather they believe it worth celebrating.

Space Lobster. Cheery thinks it's worth celebrating. She's a very traditional sort of person; when an anniversary comes around you celebrate. I dont' know I think it's worth noting, but this is all too much. Rather we should be focused on doing each post as good as we can do it. Make it funny or make it insightful or whatever.

Q. And that's what you try to do?

Space Lobster. Well when I'm not hung over. Or upset that I lost a part.

Q. Changing the subject, do you have any favorites among the four potential candidates to appear at this site?

Space Lobster. I like Jean-Louis Crowley. I went and saw him in Amsterdam a couple of years ago - he was very good. Very silky singer. I don't know how good he would be at commentating but I'm curious.

Q. So if he wins you'll start reading the blog?

Space Lobster. Probably not. But you never know.

An Interview with Grumbly Muffin

For the interest of those interested, we will be presenting a series of interviews with the members of the staff here at Make Me a Commentator!!!

Q. I understand today's interviews have special relevance to you, Ms. Grumbly Muffin?

Grumbly. Yes they do actually. My first appearance on this website was to conduct an interview with Bryant about the website. I gather he felt the original mission statement wasn't as applicable as it had been and he wanted to have something that said what the purpose of website was.

Q. So what do you consider your role at Make Me a Commentator!!! I mean, you are the conservative on the staff; what does that mean?

Grumbly. Well that's just it; I provide a conservative counterpoint to the bizarre ramblings of our more liberal scribes. I provide an alternative. You see the thing about Liberalism is that it doesn't hold together intellectually. It can't.

Q. When you talk about bizarre ramblings, you mean Bryant's posts?

Grumbly. Well I don't like to say. But certainly Cheery doesn't do many political posts anymore and the others are pretty non-political, so . . .

Q. What do you see as the future of this website?

Grumbly. I'm not sure it has one. I think that ironically by allowing me and Grumbly [Cheery?] to post here, the former management may have doomed this site. If readers come here looking for liberal content and they read what I have to say, well, it's unpleasent. Liberals don't like being confronted with the moral and intellectual bankruptcy of their position. On the other hand, this is still predominently a liberal website; me being here isn't going to be enough to draw in any Conservative. Particularly since they aren't interested in promoting me.

Q. Why do you think that is?

Grumbly. I can speculate, but I don't know for sure. I have a very forthright manner; I call a spade a spade and I call liberalism the product of diseased minds. Naturally that offends some of my coworkers.

Q. But you think the writing is on the wall for the website.

Grumbly. Could be. You saw the post earlier this week about the value of this website. It didn't bother me that much, but it clearly shook up some of the others.

Q. Why wouldn't it bother you?

Grumbly. Liberal commentary, being morally and intellectually empty, has no value. And even if it had value, there's certainly plenty of it around. Frankly if every liberal website but say Atrios and Talking Points Memo and the Huffington Post and CorrenteWire and firedoglake dissappeared, how much would we really miss the rest?

Q. Well presumably you wouldn't miss even those websites.

Grumbly. [chuckles] Oh I like looking at liberal websites; it always amuses me.

Q. So you don't see much of a future for Make Me a Commentator!!!?

Grumbly. You know, you should never say never; but my gut tells me another month, maybe two, and the Monster will pull the plug. There's just no future in this site. That will be kind of rough for the new guy, who ever he ends up being.

Q. Speaking of which, who do you think should be the new commentator?

Grumbly. I like Puke, with some reservations. Her anger is pretty scattershot and she might end up a hardcore liberal (even more hardcore than Bryant). She was fun to watch though; she clearly took a bit of a dislike to Cheery. She put on some Black Flag, and started playing it really really loud. Cheery tried to get her to turn it down. It was interesting to watch. [chuckles] I don't think she has much of a chance though.

Crimes and Misdemenors

Hello. This is once again Maple Roberts, personal secretary to the person known as the Post-Modernist. Unfortunately he is still in Baja California. He was invited to go surfing with Picasso's Guernica (who was apparently behind the return of El Greco to semi-life). Mr. Niedenmaker believes it to be a trap, but he feels compelled to play the game through to the end. He has asked that in his absence that I review the article I was given, Ted Ralls "Why Bush Is Unimpeachable."

It's an interesting argument; Mr. Rall seems to believe that the rise of political parties was not forseen by the Founding Fathers. As he puts it, "Because there were no national political parties back in 1787, their otherwise ingenious system of checks and balances failed to account for the possibility that a Congress might choose to overlook a president's crimes." This is an interesting point; certainly the letter of the constitution is something both parties find easy to ignore when it suits them.

I suspect that President Bush may be an of an artistic temperment; he believes he can mold the world as it should be. In that scheme, anything that gets him going in the direction he wishes to go is worth it regardless of other effects of his actions.

At any rate those are my thoughts. Oh, and please vote in the contest below. Ms. Jetson seems almost in tears at the thought that many of you don't choose to participate. She's very pleasent in her own way, but she seems very needy as well.

Riding along the Yukon

It was cold. Damned cold.

Parker led me out in the woods to die. I knew it and he knew it, but he didn't say nothing. I drew my sidearm to put him down like the dirty dog he was, when I realized he was the only way i could survive out in these bitter woods. So I put away my gun and pulled out my bowie knife. It glistened the cold air as I turned to my old friend.

That's what I thought about when I read the John Stossel's article about a bridge to nowhere up in the Alaska territories. I recken the forcoes of civilization have got to put their tentacles everywhere. Lucky there are still cowpokes like John Stossel bringing their deeds to light. Seems a bunch of Republican banditos in Washington are stealing from the people and building monuments to themselves. There's only one language rotten folks like that understand.

Singing. Yes, even the onriest rattlesnake can be swayed by the power of a beautiful western ballad. Them Republicans might seem like tough critters, but they got kids and they got families and they got hearts; once they understand how their projects hurt us all, they'll surley put a stop to such foolishness. It's like I told my good buddy Parker when we was traipsin through the woods 'long the Yukon. A song always makes things better. He looked a might touched by the weather shivering and all, so I sang him "The Ballad of Polar Joe" and it perked him right up. And I think singing will work just as well on these Republicans.

Hey all - this is Cheery with a postscript - for information on who Durango is and what not, and to vote for him or one of our other contestents in the big contest, visit this post.

Conservatives and Free Speech

Got an interesting story from Rook's Rant. The short version is a copy editor at a Conservative Newspaper (the Pioneer Press of the Twin Cities) was suspended for three days for attending an Anti War Rally, and will be fired if he participates in another rally. That's nice, right?

"The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the righteous are as bold as a lion." - Proverbs 28:1.

You may not see an obvious connection between that scripture and the story above; allow me to elucidate. It's a truism that a liar can't trust anybody else; being a liar he assumes everybody else is lying. Conservatives bang on about how their freedom of speech is being taken away through Political Correctness and Speech Codes and societal pressure and the Lib'rul media. Why are they so concerned about this? Because they damn well know that if they had the kind of power they imagine liberals as having, they would sure as hell shut us up.

The thing is we don't add anything to the discussion. I, being not 100% sure about my political views, enjoy debating with people who disagree with me. A Conservative, being 100% convinced that he is in the right, sees only one value in debating me; I might be converted to his side. But certainly he's not going to get anything out of it (except the satisfaction of having convinced someone to go along with him).

Something to consider.

Pushing

Hi all. Hope you are having a good day. : )

Tomorrow is our big anniversary day, but in the build up we do want to remind you of our contest, which will run till Monday. Hopefully seeing them respond to an article while help you make up your minds. Evidently a lot of you are having a hard time choosing between our four candidates (Puke, Jean-Louis Crowley, Durango, and The Post-Modernist), so we'd like to say that you can pick out more than one. If two strike your fancy, vote for two.

But please vote; kind of embarrasing to have a contest in which only two people participate. : {

Happiness is Good!

Bonjour Mes Amis.

As Puke eloquently if cruelly noted, we are each posting our own commentary on an article so as to give you a chance to decide which of us you want joining the staff of Make Me a Commentator (see this post for details).

Anyway the one I've been given is by Will Durst called Contract on America 2.1. It starts out very beautifully.

The calendar says the middle of Autumn, but for the Democrats it should be dead solid Springtime. As a group, I'm fairly flabbergasted they aren't spending all their spare time twirling and spinning and throwing spears of asparagus into a bonfire while wearing nothing but stringed acorn necklaces... or however it is that godless secularists make their sacrifices. For this should be a good time. One that calls for slow-motion skipping on the beach with bouquets of ribbons attached to helium balloons trailing in the breeze over their sun-kissed shoulders.

Isn't that a lovely image; people gathering to celebrate. Incidentally I would avoid throwing asparagus on a fire. Besides smelling bad, it would also call the attention of Abrilicon, the Dark Vegetable Lord who's hoary tentacles reach into every blade of grass.

But he goes on to complain that the Democrats aren't capitalizing on their enemies missteps. Rather they are stuck in the past; writing up a new Contract with America. Will Durst suggests several planks for this contract which reveal how much he despises them (2. The Stop Shooting Ourselves in the Foot Act . . . 7. The Stop Whining Already Act. . . . 10. The Never Run Another Effete Intellectual from Massachusetts for President Ever Again Act.). Durst, you need to be about building people up not tearing them down. Once you start tearing people down they aren't going to be as interested in what you have to say.

It's like when you are wooing une belle fille. You don't start with "Darling you really need to lose some weight." You start with her good qualities. Then when she is into you, you can take the next step. That's what you need to do here, in my opinion. There's so much anger and cynicism in the world; why not take a moment to smell the flowers?

I'm tired of Morons

Good morning, sub-literate Morons. Cheery has asked me to say that, in conjunction with the contest, me and the other finalists are going to be writing dumb-ass commentary in order to prove our worthiness to write for the readers of this website. So hurry up and vote or you'll get left behind. Cheery's words, not mine. She really needs some valium.

Anyway I'm just doing this cause in order to keep my unemployment I need to look for a job (which is total bullshit, by the way).

So they gave me an article by this skank named Michelle Malkin. Michelle has written a book on why the Japanese internment was a good idea and she looks like the sort of person who looks down her nose a lot.

Michelle's pissed because we are about to see the 2,000 soldier die in Iraq. Not because she gives damn about soldiers dying, of course. Rather she's pissed because some in the anti-war movement are going to use that number to underline how costly this war has been. Michelle than lists off a lot of bullshit some anti-war protesters have done ("We support the troops when they shoot their officers." Crap like that). But of course she lies through her ass and implies that these few examples are the whole damn anti-war movement.

The truth is most of the anti-war movement is a bunch of cowards who are more worried about offending people than they are about protesting the war. A few freaks take more direct action, but most don't. Anyway the whole article is crap; sub-literate morons might enjoy it, though. So you should all go check it out, I guess.

Remember, don't vote for me!

Good Day of Celebration

Well this has certainly been a banner day at Make Me A Commentator!!! First of all out of 88 glances at our webpage 1 person has decided to participate in our contest. That's nearly 1.14%! Out of the 55 people who visited the blog (meaning the stayed a little longer I gather), 1 person decided to participate in the contest for a whopping 1.81%.

For those who wonder how this contest works, read the four potential commentators in this post. Pick the one you'd most like to see more of (right now I'm leaning towards Puke), and either leave your vote in a comment or in an e-mail. One person will get a free subscription to Salon Magazine (by free I mean I'll pay for it). Simple.

I also got information on what my blog is worth. Here it is.

My blog is worth $0.00.
How much is your blog worth?

So that's good news. I mean we could be in the red think about how bad that would be. If each post doesn't produce anything, at least it doesn't cost me anything.

Celebrations Galore

Just a quick note to say that this contest has been timed to coincide with the 3 year anniversary of this website which we are celebrating in style apparently. The Monster is even paying a visit back to the office (He's been in Outer Fangolia (or possibly New Jersey, it's hard to tell)the last couple of weeks). And he and Cheery (who is really gung ho about the idea) have decided we should have a bit of a celebration. Hopefully we will squeeze in some commentating as well, but right now I have to run down to Party time to pick up a shipment of pointy hats (don't ask).

Contest

Hi Everybody!!!

Exciting news. We are starting a new contest and welcoming a new commentator into our little fold. We have decided to add a new feature - a catalogue of commentators. We reference commentator all the time you may be unaware of. Even worse, Bryant sometimes makes jokes based on previous posts, confusing many of his readers. How many of you have wondered why he sometimes calls Ben Shapiro "Boy Prognosticator?" Well this new feature will provide a brief review of what the commentator is all about, a few quotes, and a link to some favorite posts about that commentator.

Now obviously we will all have input into these columns, but to host them we want to get somebody new. We've narrowed it down to four possibilities, and we are going to ask our readers to help us make the final selection. But of course we don't expect our readers to work for free; so one person who votes in this poll will have their name drawn from a computer generated hat, and will win a free years subscription to the website Salon. So without further ado here are our finalists.



Hey jerks.

I'd like to say at the outset that this website makes me sick. It reads like it was written by sub-literate morons; and having met them in person, let me say I'm being generous. I can only assume that most of the readers here are also sub-literate morons drawn by the pretty pictures and crap. Well let me tell you, life isn't that. Life is a pile of crap and it's nothing else. If you think you see something that isn't crap, well you probably need glasses. Anyway I don't really want this job so vote for one of these other jerks.



Bonjour Mes Amis.

I am Jean-Louis Crowley, traveling troubadour. I and my band, Les Haut-Bois (pronounced "Hot Boys") have performed across Europe and (briefly) in America, bringing our distinct blend of Folk, Rock, and Zithers anywhere where people will listen to us. We write songs that gently and tenderly hold your heart as if it were a flower, caressing it tenderly and then ripping it to shreds.

Also I have a deep dark family secret; but I won't be writing about that because it's too personal. I shouldn't have even brought it up, actuallement. But rest assured I will never mention it again.

Also despite a few bits of French slang, I'm from London.



Howdy partners.

Where I come from there's two types of cowpokes. There's the singing kind and the squinting kind. The singing kind sings songs and generally raises the spirits of all around. And squinting kind don't say much but shoots people dead. I reckon I'm one of them Singing Cowboys, but Doc Sawbones says I got me a head ailment.

Doc figures I'm both a singing cowboy and a squinting cowboy and I change randomly. So, unless you want to be six feet under, you'll mind your step with me. I don't give warnings and I don't miss and I like putting people down. I know I'm a bad man.

So anyway partners, let's all gather round and sing us some tunes.



Hello this is Maple Roberts, secretary to Mr. Alaistar Niedenmaker, also known as the Post Modernist. Unfortunately he has been called away and requested I make a short introduction on his behalf. He's busy fighting the Ghost of El Greco in a steel cage match somewhere in Baja California. What a bother!

Anyway Mr. Niedenmaker is a brilliant scientist, having had his brain amplified by an accident involving an electrical transformer and an unpublished sonnet by William Shakespeare. He is also a man of action, having been raised by Tree Frogs. So I'm sure he will be able to add a lot to your enjoyment of this website.

So those are our four possibilities. Please write the name or names of the ones you like best and either email them to us (politicalcombryant@gmail.com ) or leave them in the comments section. If you leave it in the comments section, be sure to leave an e-mail address so we can send you your prize if you win. Also we will be paying attention to those numbers that tell what computer you are using; only 2 votes per computer please.

Elitism

David Limbaugh, in his latest article, makes a spirited defense of his and others attacks on Harriet Miers. Apparently some have felt that the attacks on Harriet Miers have smacked of elitism.

Well first of all, what's wrong with elitism. Not a phony elitism based on snobbery and phoniness espoused by the left, of course. But an appropriate elitism, based on genuine achievement. Isn't that what we conservatives believe in? People who have succeeded deserve better; that's why I'm cool with Bill Gates living in splendor and Frank the Bum living in a cardboard box. At the end of the day they've both decided where they want to live through their actions. Harriet Miers is being rewarded for being a woman and for being close to President Bush, NOT for her legal accomplishments (which are, frankly, quite scant.

Anyway Limbaugh is pretty afraid of being called an elitist so he makes sure to remind us several times that he's not an elitist. He just thinks that the next Supreme Court Justice should be built upon solid ground.

The universe of potential justices who can be safely relied on to have given the subject enough thought to have unlearned the law school dogma is quite small. True, there may be untold numbers of potentially great originalist justices out there. But we have no way of knowing with the "stealth candidates," and there is simply no reason to take the risk when we don't have to.

Now I haven't fully made up my mind on Miers yet, but part of me thinks that surely one of the judges who do meet this high standard could also be counted on to see reason in the face of Islamo-Fascism.

Monday Mail Bag

Hi all. It's time for another look in our mail bag and comments bag (really there's just one bag).

Our first comment comes from ST Parker, responding to a post by Cheery in which she argues that the Democrats shouldn't use legal methods to go after the Bush administration.

"If we don't like parties using the law to go after Clinton, we shouldn't use the law to go after Delay. "

Isn't that like saying we should either investigate everyone or investigate no one?

As a life long criminal genius and super villain, I am strongly in favor of investigating no one.

coturnix (of Science and Politics) responded to McIckleson's blog around comments on the program to give kids pretend babies.

Well, I doubt that "acclimatize" is the best word - "scare-the-shit-out-of-them" may be more appropriate ;-)

I must admit, though, fear is a great motivator. Every time I surrendered to Captain Starfaller, and it was, unfortunately, a lot, it was because of fear.

Elayne Riggs (of Pen-Elayne on the Web) writes in response to our Defenders Saturday feature.

You've GOT to stop doing this. My husband just went and fetched the comic in question. After, of course, identifying the penciller and inker on the basis of only looking at the two panels you repro'ed. Bryant, please, for the love of God, stop encouraging him!!

I am 100% in agreement with this. Why is Bryant wasting his time with old comic books when there are early children's TV shows like "Captain Starfaller and the Cosmic Crew" who don't have episode guides at all? Perhaps I could start my own.

Captain Starfaller and the Cosmic Crew Episode #1A02 "The Space Tyrant"

Plot Summary - Captain Starfaller and Jimmy visit an old friend, Astronomer Al who provides educational material on the Planet Mercury (It's Hot!). Suddenly Jimmy is whisked away the Lobsterian invasion force. Captain Starfaller springs into action, and after a daring flight through a meteor shower, he attacks the Space Lobster. Space Lobster proves to be a worthy adversary, but Captain Starfaller is able to drive him off with a Electronic Repulso-blast. Then Captain Starfaller and Jimmy sing a song about the planet Mercury (It's Hot!). The End.

Notable events. This is the first appearance of Space Lobster, long time Captain Starfaller villain. This is the first and only appearance of the Lobsterian Invasion Force (what a gyp!)

Continuity Errors. Space Lobster does not used his signature catch phrase in this episode ("I will Crush Captain Starfaller in my Mighty Pincers).

Hmmm. That wasn't so hard. I need to get some stills from the show.

Anyway this week sees a rare occurrence; a letter related to the blog (rather than to my bank account). Feast on this rarity in all it's glory.

E-Mail Title - Want great info on profiteering

E-Mail Text - The book-- "when The Pentagon Was For Sale"

Many Reagan people were found guilty of fraud.

clarence swinney

Thank you Mr. Swinney. I admit war profiteering is very evil, so I've been curious about it for a long time. But it all seems so complicated. Plus many big government types are uncomfortable having me in their office because they are afraid I will get mucus on their seats. But that's snails, not lobsters. At any rate I will certainly check out that book and see if it has any tips that can let me break into the evil and lucrative world of war profiteering.

Finally, what is a Monday Mailbag without somebody asking for my bank account information. And here one is from Issac Ani in Madrid, apparently.

I am contacting you to partner with me in respect of transfer of certain
funds, which is being held in a floating account in my organization,
Fountain Trust SA , in Madrid Spain.

Hmmmm. A floating account in a FountainTrust? Floating in a Fountain? Does that strike anybody else as just a little too convenient?

But the point is moot, as I do not have a bank account.

Anyway hope you have a nice week. Oh and Cheery wants me to mention that tomorrow we are announcing a big contest. So look forward to that.

Crony Capitalism

There's a story by Knight-Ridder about how the Army purchases equipment they need. Here's a selection.

The Pentagon paid $20 apiece for plastic ice cube trays that once cost it 85 cents. It paid a supplier more than $81 apiece for coffeemakers that it bought for years for just $29 from the manufacturer.

That's because instead of getting competitive bids or buying directly from manufacturers like it used to, the Pentagon is using middlemen who set their own prices. It's the equivalent of shopping for weekly groceries at a convenience store.

And it's costing taxpayers 20 percent more than the old system, a Knight Ridder investigation found.

The higher prices are the result of a Defense Department purchasing program called prime vendor, which favors a handful of firms.

So here's a question; how do you get to be a prime vendor?

Here's another, why doesn't the military harness the power of capitalism and competition to achieve the best results?

Here's a third, who does this Prime Vendor system benefit?

Something to consider, my bad pennies.

Nothing to See Here

This whole Valerie Plame/Scooter Libby/Karl Rove stuff you've been hearing about? Nothing of consequence, according to conservative commentator Michael Barone.

For one thing the Media is making too much of it because they hate President Bush. For another, in Mr. Barone's opinion, an indictment of Libby or Rove would be unwarranted. Apparently she wasn't really a covert agent. Mr. Barone is sure of this and is apparently pitting his surety against that of the CIA who did believe she was a covert agent.

It's pretty dull reading really; just the standard denials. I don't think even Mr. Barone expects them to be taken seriously at this late date. Still, part of being a team player is writing these kind of articles.

New Format, new Quote

Hi all!!! :)

Another week, another format. This weeks quote comes from Mr. McIckleson who is very fond of Nietzche as you might have guessed by now. This is the last Nietzche quote however; unless he once again gets me to back down, as he has several times before.