Defenders Saturday

What makes the Defenders great? Not much.

The Defenders were outcast heroes – but the X-Men had gotten there first and would end up doing it better (the Defenders came around before the Claremont run on the X-Men). They were a non-team, but it was unclear what that was supposed to mean, since they still got together each month for a new adventure (admittedly Sub-Mariner or the Hulk might sit an issue out). Eventually they started getting members who wanted to be a part of a real team (like Valkyrie) and eventually they were a real team.

This is the progression of a lot of teams, by the way. The standard teams are the outcast team (the X-Men) or the heroic family (the Avengers (sort of) and the Fantastic Four). Other variations have popped up over the years. There were regional teams, like the West Coast Avengers or Alpha Flight or Excalibur. But once you stripped off any novelty of the region (which happened quickly) you were left with an outcast team or an heroic family. There were interesting variations in the early nineties with both X-Factor (a Government Team) and X-Force (paramilitary team), but the novelty was quickly quashed in an attempt to make such teams as much like the X-Men as possible.

It happened to the Defenders too – they went from being the Non-Team to being an outcast team (with three former x-men to boot). That was the era I actually read for a bit. But they brought the title to a close, in part so the three X-Men (Iceman, Beast, and Angel) could join X-Factor (which at that time was simply the reuniting of the original five X-men).

Anyway I recently purchased the Essential Defenders Volume 1 (I suspect the only Volume in the series (but maybe I’m wrong), and I am going to be providing a review of the various issues for reasons too complicated to go into here.

Dr. Strange #183

Synopsis: Here’s a standard synopsis for any Dr. Strange comic. Something bad is going to happen for reasons that are never satisfactorily explained. Dr. Strange stops this something bad using methods that are never satisfactorily explained. But, because I care, here’s a more complete synopsis.

Dr. Strange gets a telegram that triggers a synopsis of recent issues. Apparently in order to hide himself, he changes his name to Dr. Saunders, and erases all trace of Dr. Strange. He also starts wearing a mask. It looks goofy. After three pages of reminiscing, Dr. Strange/Saunders blurts out “But Wait. In my concern there is something I forgot. I never read . . . the telegram!!” He reads it and suffers not one but two premonitions of doom. But, in his maniacal pride, he says, “. . . but, I could not ignore my former friend’s plea, when tonight came ‘round.” I think that last phrase is a reference to jazz music, but with Dr. Strange you can never tell.


At any rate, the flight to visit his old friend allows time for another internal monologue, in which we find out that this old friend, Kenneth Ward, helped sponsor his medical career. When he gets there, the servants act suspiciously and his old friend seems drugged or, get this, under a magic spell. Dr. Strange is taken to his room, where he observes, “though my sorcerer’s senses tell me I am no unobserved, I am equally sure someone will look in on me later!” I’m not sure that statement warranted an exclamation point, but when you are Dr. Strange everything you say warrants an exclamation point.

Anyway Dr. Strange creates some mystic mamajama to make a copy of himself, and goes out and talks to Kenneth Ward. After he breaks the spell that is keeping Kenneth Ward drugged, Kenneth says “Something compels me . . . to tell the whole story . . . from the beginning.” So he does just that. Apparently Ward traveled in the Himalayas and found some weird statues. He finds one particular small statue that is related to the “Undying ones.” Just then the servants pop in and, surprise, surprise, they are servants of the “undying ones.” They fight. Dr. Strange declares they are evenly matched. But then the dying Kenneth Ward opens the curtains, letting the sun in, which disintegrats the baddies, who like vampires, can’t abide sunshine. Unfortunately Ward immediately dies, and Dr. Strange is left to ponder the threat of the Undying ones.

Dr. Strange Humility Quote – (upon realizing he never actually read the telegram mentioned above, Dr. Strange makes a mystic gesture and says) “ But, that is a situation easily remedied! Nor must Mohammed go to the Missive . . !”

Rush Limbaugh sums up Liberal Partisanship

Those of you with strong stomachs, consider these words from yesterday's program.

Now they [Democrats] are a walking laughingstock. And they become more so each and every day. And I firmly believe this, folks. I know a lot of you people are just scared to death of them, and I guess that's somewhat healthy. They're never going to go away and they're never going to be totally vanquished but this is a bunch of people that ought to be more scared of themselves than we need a to be afraid of them. You corner a lion, what's it going to do? You take a king of the jungle, king of whatever, corner it, a rat, whatever, it's got one chance to get away and that's kill you. That's destroy you. That's where they are. They are a bunch of cornered vermin, cornered rats, and their only way out of this is to destroy their enemies.

Cornered Vermin. That's how Rush Limbaugh sums up the Democratic Party. That's how his followers look at liberals.

Of course other people in history have demonized their enemies as vermin.

Nature is cruel; therefore we are also entitled to be cruel. When I send the flower of German youth into the steel hail of the war without feeling the slightest regret over the precious German blood that is being spilled, should I also not have the right to eliminate millions of an inferior race that multiply like vermin.

Not that Rush Limbaugh's hatred of Liberals is anything like Adolf Hitler's hatred of Jews.

Round the Horn. An Irwin J. McIckleson Production

Well good morning readers of the Make Me a Commentator!!! site. This is 1910's Fictional Plutocrat Irwin J. McIckleson checking in and taking you on another voyage around the liberal coalition.

A lot of people have written in and asking me if it hurts me to be fictional. I don't know, dunderhead. Does it hurt being non-fictional?

And Then . . . has some history on a new fangled sport called water skiing. Apparently it's like snow skiing only on water and with more human pyramids.

blogAmy has a story about some comments made buy a gentleman called Bill Bennett. Something about how if every Black child were eliminated there would be less crime. I can see the natural feelings of the South continue apace. The truth is that any distinctions on race are meaningless; all of God's children are equal and should be equally exploited by the Plutocrat class.

LeftyBrown's Corner has an article on a celebration of Banned Books in a religious library. I have never banned a book in McIcklesonville. I make sure to hire mostly illiterates so the problem doesn't come up very much, however.

Continuing the theme, Pen-Elayne on the Web has a piece on Censorship - what it is and what it is not. In truth I don't pay attention to what my workers say or do. I just flog them intermittently, and their guilty conscious fill in the blanks of why I must be flogging them. It's a lot less work than trying to actually shut down ways of thinking I don't like.

Collective Sigh has the news that President Bush is conspicuously driving around in his car wasting gasoline. Apparently Collective Sigh sees this as hypocritical. It's not. It's a simple reflection of the fact that as a successful Plutocrat, Mr. Bush is entitled to ask other people to make sacrifices while he continues to live large.

You see America has certain goals. The protection of the commenwealth. The maintenance of the infrastructure. The enjoyment of the Plutocrat class. Just as the poor might be asked to make sacrifices in a time of war, so also they should make sacrifices so that those in the Plutocrat class can continue to enjoy themselves.

Echidne of the Snakes writes about party loyalty among the Republicans and the lack thereof among the Democrats. I must say I find the whole concept of Party Loyalty useful for those who would control others. I assume Republican party leaders feel the same way.

Dohiyi Mir writes about being confused for a toddler of some kind. I find that baffling, but perhaps children of the future are much more accomplished than my own grand-children, who, although I love them dearly, are wont to sticking their whole heads in beehives.

Mercury X23 has a piece on a student of his that has been convinced to join the military on some sketchy promises. This is somewhat despicable, although I understand the need of the Plutocrat class to protect itself by inducing others to join the military. On the other hand, since that military does not seem to be being used in a rational way, I do find myself less than comfortable with this deception.

Continuing on to how we are fighting this war, Happy Furry Puppy Story Time has a piece on the atrocities of war and the argument that we must cover up such atrocities so as not to incite our enemies. It strikes me as perfectly sensible senselessness.

Rook's Rant has some commentary on how the term "religious right" is being used as a prejorative. You future people have some odd political designations. Whatever happened to the Free Silverers or Know Nothings?

T. Rex's Guide to Life has some thoughts on Ethics and how politicians used to have them. I don't think he's talking about my day. I once paid a Senator to bark like a dog at one of the progressives until he backed down and allowed an amendment to his bill.

And that's us for another week. Hope you all have an enjoyable weekend.

Thank Goodness the Adults are In Charge Pt. 2

Of course you all know that Tom Delay has had to step down from his position of power because of questions of whether or not he solicited corporate moneys to support Texas campaigns. And of course Bill Frist is in trouble because he may have pulled a Martha Stewart and set up his own reality show ripping off Donald Trump. No I'm just kidding (but I would watch that show), he's actually possibly guilty of insider trading.

But another name high up in this little scandal you may not be ware of is a dude named Jack Abramoff. Actually you probably have heard of him, but if you haven't now you have. He's the subject of a recent article by Robert Sheer, and apparently a real piece of work.

It was reported last week that Timothy Flanigan, Tyco International Ltd. general counsel and Bush's nominee for deputy attorney general, stated that Abramoff's lobbying firm had boasted that his access to the highest levels of Congress could help Tyco fight tax liability legislation and that Abramoff later said he "had contact with Mr. Karl Rove" about the issue.

Comforting isn't it?

Republicans read that, throw up their hands and say "That sort of thing happens all the time. It's no big deal." And it isn't to them. If you expect government to fail, it's no big deal when it fails. But since I expect government to work, I do get annoyed when I read this kind of story.

This story takes on greater weight given the rebuilding of New Orleans.

The hurricane season is proving to be a windfall for GOP-connected companies such as Halliburton, which are being rewarded with lucrative contracts despite their shoddy performance in Iraq. In the vocabulary of crony capitalism, the word "shame" does not exist.

Indeed.

Bush Lovers? Not Hardly!

I read Bryant's defense of Bush Hatred, earlier this week, with some interest. Of course the obvious counterpoint is that if he and his allies on the Democratic side of the fence had any RATIONAL arguments against President Bush they'd present them. But they don't seem to. So we, on the right, are forced to conclude that our friends on the left are opposing President Bush irrationally.

But you should take that to mean that we on the right are irrational Bush-Lovers, driven to praise and laud him at all times. Rather we can be quite critical of where he and his fellow congressional Republicans are taking this country. Congressman Mike Pence recently summed up my dissatisfaction with the President and Congress's plans perfectly.

But there is work to be done, with the national debt at nearly $8 trillion, over 26,000 for every American. In light of two consecutive sessions of Congress that saw a 52 percent increase in the Department of Education and the first new entitlement in 40 years, with record increases in federal spending in every branch of government.

Two years ago, I likened the conservative movement to a tall ship plying the open seas of a simpler time with a proud captain and a strong and accomplished crew, veering off course into the dangerous and uncharted waters of big government Republicanism.

For despite the enormous conservative achievements of the past four years, I saw troubling signs that the ship of conservative governance was off course.

. . . Our party and you, its rising generation of new leaders, face an age-old choice: A choice between the belief in limited government and tradition and the siren song of the central planner who says that "Big government is good government if it's our government."

This analysis is spot on. It is frustrating that a President that has shown such leadership in the war on Terror is unwilling to use the same energy to revitalize the tax code (to make it fair to the people who actually pay taxes) or to reign in out-of-control government spending. Where is the leadership on these issues?

It's not in Washington. At least not right now. And those who are in Washington had better consider carefully or they might be replaced by people who more closely follow the Conservative ideal.

I Want You to Trip Like I Do

This is from the leadoff track from the Crystal Method's album Vegas. Why am I referencing the Crystal Method? Read on.

A couple of months ago, a black guy escaped from prison and took a white woman (Ashley Smith) prisoner. She, being a Christian and all, fed him and helped him realize he needed to go back to prison. This was a little parable for all us faithless blue-staters who doubted the power of God. Those of us who snicker at Touched by an Angel sure learned a valuable lesson. Women with pie and faith can sooth the savage criminal.

Now it turns out she gave him a bit more than pie. She gave him methamphetamine. Or, to use one of it's street names, Crystal Meth.

In her book, "Unlikely Angel," released Tuesday, Smith says Nichols had her bound on her bed with masking tape and an extension cord. She says he asked for marijuana, but she did not have any, and she dug into her illegal stash of crystal meth instead.

Praise the Lord, hallelujah.

The police have no intention of charging her for possession of illegal drugs. Presumably all that pie and faith works on them too.

If you haven't heard Trip Like I Do, it's a great little tune for getting the blood pumping.

Got this from The News Blog.

Do You Know What the Words "Fort Marcy Park" Mean?

They mean that, in the delusional right wing world of the Limbaugh, Hillary Clinton has murdered to further her political ambitions and she will kill again. Fort Marcy Park is where Vince Foster was found dead after he committed suicide.

Excuse me, that should have read where he was found dead; his death was later ruled a suicide. Because of course in the delusional world of the Clinton-Hater, Foster's death was clearly the act of the Clintons in an attempt to . . . well it's not clear. Sometimes it's because he and Clinton were having an affair. Sometimes it's because Foster knew too much and "dead men tell no tales."

Of course Foster's Death was investigated numerous times (once by Kenneth Star) and ruled a suicide each time. Which just shows the enormous power of the Clintons to control the government.

Of course if they had such power and the will to kill, it's kind of odd how they let the whole Lewinsky mess happen, but I suppose it's best not to question that.

You might be thinking that this is old news and I shouldn't be wasting your time with it. I agree, but Rush Limbaugh felt the urge to recently bring it up. And he is America's Anchorman. So I felt I needed to bring it up too.

If you want a more thorough examination of the many deaths the Clinton's are supposed to have committed, check out this article by Snopes.

Business acumen

Hi everybody!!! : )

It seems like taking potshots at President Bush is in vogue right now, which is sad given the troubles facing our nation. I didn't vote for President, and would certainly rather have a Democrat, but while President Bush is our President I think we all need to get behind him. So it's a little depressing to see an article like this one written by David Olive for the Toronto Star.

The legacy of the Bush administration may well be that government can no longer be entrusted to business people.

That would be a shame, given that business savants as varied as Kennedy treasury secretary Douglas Dillon and Silicon Valley legend Dave Packard served ably in Washington.

Many of the most prominent CEOs in the current administration aren't real business people at all, but faux CEOs who after a lifetime in politics cashed in on brief stints as trophy CEOs at Fortune 500 firms before returning to public life in George W. Bush's White House.

With few exceptions, those CEO stints — at Halliburton Co. (Dick Cheney), rail operator CSX Corp. (John Snow), and George "dry hole" Bush's string of oil-exploration flops in Texas — were not models of exemplary corporate stewardship.

Just the same, future historians will make the connection between the most CEO-heavy administration in memory, headed by the first MBA president (Harvard, no less), and a White House of unsurpassed fiscal recklessness, flawed strategic thinking, failure to execute even on its best ideas (its unrealized goals of education reform and energy self-sufficiency, for instance), and a stubborn unwillingness to change course when conditions dictate.

Is it really worth mentioning, at this late date, President Bush's business failings? I mean he's been running the United States of America for the last five years; I'd say that qualifies him as a successful leader. ; )

Some of the criticisms in that last paragraph, on the other hand, are pretty spot on, I'd say. I'm not sure this is the best time to be focused on Bush's failures, but when the time comes to analyze this presidency, some of those statements may be very relevant.

Return of the Haters

I hate President Bush, apparently. I think he's been a bad President, and after 5 years, I don't think I'm going to see anything that's going to change my mind. The problem is, if you are a Bush supporter, I've got plenty of ammo at this time. Even if we leave aside the recent embarrassment of "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job," there's plenty of other things to bring up. So if you are a supporter of President Bush like, say, David Limbaugh or Dennis Prager, what do you do?

Well, it's preferable to shift the discussion away from the President's actual performance and onto some other aspect of this discussion. Let's see what they've come up with.

"Ever since President Bush took office, liberals have been rooting from one thing to another in a frenzied quest to find that one issue, one tragedy, one scandal that would bring him down. The list is too long to recite here.

"Bush's critics treat each of these issues, in turn, as the final straw that will break the back of this abominable presidency. Everything is blown out of proportion, every possible ambiguity is resolved in President Bush's disfavor, and every possible malevolent motive is attributed to him. The most innocuous of events is treated as scandalous. Hyperbole rules. Panic prevails. Fantastic conspiracy theories triumph. Sober, balanced analysis is absent." - David Limbaugh

"If you want to understand the Left, the best place to start is with an understanding of hysteria. Leading leftists either use hysteria as a political tactic or are actually hysterics." - Dennis Prager

Ah. So rather than focus on President Bush's failure to succeed, they'd rather talk about how my Bush-hatred distorts my views. This is probably smart politics. You should only sell your man when you've got something to sell, but it's never a bad idea to trash your opponents. And this form of attack makes it less likely that anybody in the middle will listen to the arguments of such unhinged people.

Very smart; but I'm not sure it's going to work. It does seem like the American people are making up their minds about President Bush, and it doesn't seem like their assessment is going the way Prager and Limbaugh would like.

Monday Mail Bag

Hello everybody. I'm feeling a little better this week, thanks for asking. I've realized that there is more to life than getting the right role. Instead I'm taking more of an interest in cooking. I made Hunter's Chicken yesterday and it turned out pretty good; although I think I could improve upon the recipe. Possibly using lentils rather than chickpeas for example.

Anyway lets get to this weeks comments and e-mails. Our first is from perennial favorite Random Goblin, in response to some rather cryptic comments made by Governor Jeb Bush of Florida.

I didn't vote for Jeb back in '02. I voted for Chang.

Hee hee hee!

Hey, name some other valiant, admirable "conservative warriors" in history. In other words, people who bravely fought to resist change, for things to stay the same, or even "to go back to the good old days."

Robin Hood? Nope. George washington and the patriots of the war for Independence? Heck no, they were radical revolutionaries!

Come on, name some!

Well Captain Starfaller would be a good representative of a "conservative warrior." All the time me and my buddies were trying to revolutionize the Earth by making into a dictatorship or possibly a theocracy (well only when I teamed up with Grizzela, the Goddess of Gamma 4, which was a big mistake. Talk about a person who is full of herself. It turned out she wasn't really a Goddess either. Just talked a good game.), that "conservative" Captain Starfaller kept trying to stop us. So I would describe Captain Starfaller as a "conservative warrior."

Now I hate him more than ever.

Anyway we got a comment from some person named Jeff Rients who responded to a post Grumbly Muffin posted that was pretty vengeful. I think there was a Nick Rients who worked lighting back on the show; probably no relation.

Referring to the entirety of the left half of the political spectrum as traitors isn't a comment on the stakes in play, but rather seems indicative of paranoia.

Furthermore, you say the liberals would leave America weaker economically, yet I know many Americans who remember the Clinton era as the times of prosperity.

Well, paranoia can sometimes be useful. I remember in Episode 3F19, "To Save a Sundragon," I was left guarding Xerxes, one of the mystic Sun Dragons, who we had wounded and trussed up like an animal. Good times. Anyway then somebody showed up claiming to be a veterinarian, and I let him come in and inspect Xerxes. It was really Kid Sunshine, an ally of Captain Starfaller at the time. That hipster goon pulled the wool over my eyes and if I had been a little more paranoid it wouldn't have happened.

So now when I don't recognize someone at my door I just automatically crush them with my mighty pincers. This keeps me safe, but I can't get any of the local pizza places to deliver anymore.

Turning to the mail, we received a letter from John Martin who begins promisingly.

The inspiration to contact you is simply divine providence,I am making this proposition because I have to seek the partnership of a resource person to help me realise this project.

Simply divine providence, eh? Have you ever met the Goddess of Gamma 4? Seems like the two of you would hit it off.

Anyway that's it for another week. Remember I will crush Captain Starfaller with my Mighty Pincers!

Transparent Lies

With a title like that you'd expect that I'd be talking about the Liberals or the Democrats. Well, just this once, you'd be wrong. Instead I'm talking about some BONEHEADS on my side of the fence.

Apparently some bloggers including Little Green Footballs and Confederate Yankee as well as the centrist blog Centerline, are propounding the story this weekend's protest against the war was attended by 29 people.

Yeah, it's not like this collection of LEFT-WING LUNATICS didn't provide any other fodder for criticism. I mean you could read their speeches and point out their insanity. But instead you choose to claim that 29 people attended the rally. There were problem more than 29 people on the program, given how Liberals so love to hear themselves speak. But even besides that there are aerial shots that show thousands attending.



Looks like a lot more than 29 people, I'd say.

This is an opportunity to expose the anti-American views of the anti-war crowd and instead we promote transparent lies. Sometimes I don't think we even want to win.

Ideology vs. Practicality

Robert Novak's latest column deals with a divide in the Republican Party. You might call it a divide between ideology and practicality. Conservatism stresses cutting government programs and shrinking the government. Practical politics dictates bringing back federal money to improve your district and employ your constituents. How does a Republican negotiate this divide?

Well one method is to argue for cutting the programs benefiting some other state. I mean if you are the Republican Senator of Kentucky, why not try to cut the programs benefiting those people in New York who can't vote for you anyway. I'm reminded of a bit Michael Moore did back on TV Nation when good ol' Newt Gingrich was on his way up the ladder. He simply went around and pointed out all the federal money pouring into Newt's district and called on Newt and the citizens to eliminate such spending. Naturally nobody there was in favor of this idea.

But this method of cutting spending for other states while continuing to spend in your own only goes so far. Plus, if you squint your eyes, it seems a little hypocritical. So some of the younger members of Congress (as described by Novak) are coming into conflict with their seniors over cutting government spending. Because, see, they actually want to cut government spending and not just pretend to cut government spending.

In case you are wondering I'm in favor of smart government spending. That may involve some cuts and some increases.

Anyway Novak concludes with strong support for these younger "cut-government-spending-firsters."

The beleaguered conservatives see all this spending leading inexorably to a tax increase, which would redistribute the tax burden to the disadvantage of the successful and threaten an economic recession. Barry Goldwater long ago assailed Dwight D. Eisenhower for presiding over a "Dime Store New Deal." That stinging rebuke no longer would be appropriate for today's Republicans. They outdo Democrats on pork and are in the same ballpark on entitlements. Even Katrina and now Rita do not restrain them.

A bit of a scare tactic there isn't there? Redistributing the tax burden to the disadvantage of the successful? That's going to keep me up at night - thinking about people who have plenty still having plenty.

Under normal circumstances one would assume acclimitizing to Washington would smooth the ideological edges off of these younger Republicans. But right now the Republican base is ideologically charged. It's possible a congressperson could trade the benefits of bringing government spending back to his or her district for the benefits of being ideologically pure and trading on that with the national base. So perhaps this struggle between ideology and practicality may not take the expected route.

New Format, new Quote

Hi all!!!

New format and a new quote. This week the monster selected the quote. I read him a few choices when he called in and this is the one he selected.

Anyway hope you are all having nice weekends.