Wednesday, February 08, 2006

New Television Series Pitch

Title - "The FISA Beat"
Creators - Bryant E. Gries, Space L. Lobster, Cheery M. Jetson
Pitch - It's 2007, and President Bush can't operate outside the system anymore. But he still wants to stop the terrorists and eavesdrop on them. So he institute an elite squad of clerks and cops, working together to prepare the paperwork necessary to permit him to collect necessary information.
Characters - The Chief, Gortack the Preparer, Belinda Mae, James John Geoffry.

Sample scene.

(The sun streams in from the windows indicating that the sun is setting. Gortack, Belinda, and James are getting their effects together. Suddenly the Chief bursts into the room.)

Chief - Hold everything! Agents in Walla Walla just intercepted a phone call from Osama bin Ladin's number two man. They need the paperwork over there within 72 hours! (looks around) Looks like we won't be going anywhere.

(Gortack and Belinda spring into action, going back to their desks. Belinda pulls down some complicated law books (note, use actual law books. I think audiences would catch on to the old encyclopedia Britannica scam). Gortack puts a raft of forms on his desk and starts working on them. James approaches the Chief, angrily)

James - Dammit Chief, I can't stay again. My wife is upset that I never see it.

Chief - Dammit, don't you think I know that? But you and your wife know that you serve a higher purpose.

James - Dammit, she wanted me to bring her home some shitake mushrooms so we could have spaghetti.

Chief - Dammit, you are just going to have to give her a call and tell her you can't make it. I need you here.

James - Dammit, I love spaghetti.

Chief - Dammit, you get back in your desk and get on the phone with Walla Walla - I want to know all the details before we finalize these forms. (walks over to Gortacks desk) How's it going, son.

Gortack - It's coming along - these forms are so complicated.

Chief - Well the forms are to protect us. So they need to be complicated.

Gortack - Why can't we just let the NSA spy on whoever they want? Be better than these forms.

Chief - (sitting on the desk) Sometimes I wish we could. But we are going to play by the rules. Without rules we are little better than the scum we are going after! You see them al Qaeda folks think that they should be able to tell everybody what to do and trample all over peoples rights. Here in America we don't cotton to that way of thinking. Rather we demand, even while defending ourselves, that we play within the rules so as to safeguard our freedoms.(turning to Belinda) I can see that you are hard at work, being one of the best attorneys in the nation who gave up her 6 figure salary job to serve your country, so I won't bother you.

(The Chief stands up and walks to the center of the room, looks around briefly smiles. Suddenly Gortacks pen breaks, ink spilling out all over the forms he is working out. He looks up stricken, as the camera zooms from him to the Chief. After a beat he speaks).

Chief - I guess we are going to have to get our hands dirty. (Main title sequence).

This goldmine idea for an ongoing series can be yours, Hollywood, for practically no money (by your standards).

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