Bill O'Reilly - Language Nazi

Yep Bill O'Reilly has written a new article over at Townhall where he is angry that more people don't talk like him. He brings up 1 1/2 ones from his own world and then several hip hop phrases (old-timey hip hop phrases) that he doesn't like.

That cliche comes from the hip-hop world, which has done more to ruin the English language than Paris Hilton. But the rappers have won this lexicon battle.

In fairness the rappers outnumber Paris Hilton both in number and in actual talent.

For his next article, Bill O'Reilly should take on the pressing issue of why kids are always tramping through his lawn.

Oh I titled this article that just as a tweak; obviously as a freedom liker, O'Reilly presumably believes that only liberals strive to control speech.

And people say there's a bit of racism in this debate over immigration

Why consider these measured comments by Bill O'Reilly.

O’REILLY: But do you understand what the New York Times wants, and the far-left want? They want to break down the white, Christian, male power structure, which you’re a part, and so am I, and they want to bring in millions of foreign nationals to basically break down the structure that we have. In that regard, Pat Buchanan is right. So I say you’ve got to cap with a number.

All races are equal; some races are more equal than others. What could be clearer?

He was interviewing John McCain at the time of this comment; McCain's response was, shall we say, less than inspiring.

The Culture War

Conservatives are eager to fight the Culture War, in which they knock out all non white, non patriarchal, non protestant cultures, and enjoy dominance on the top of the pile, with their fellow real Americans. The rest of us can enjoy our status as second class citizens or get the hell out of America.

Unfortunately for these "real" Americans, years of giving civil rights to ethnic minorities have left white, protestant Christian, heterosexual males unable to assert their dominance over American Culture the way they could at one time. You remember back when people of color, gays just didn't show up on TV and if a woman appeared it was to support a male.

The good ol' days.

Thankfully, a warrior has arisen to take on the cause of poor white protestant heterosexual males - and his name is Bill O'Rielly. He's written a book called the Culture Warrior, and he hopes to lead his fellows to victory over the forces of Secular Progressivism (which I suppose is intended to indicate those who aren't "real" Americans. You know, people like me.). Anyway a Time Blog has a review of it, and it's not pretty. Apparently O'Rielly's zeal to protect "real" Americans has led him to make some pretty big errors. Oh well.

The War on Christmas - The Fog of War

Sometimes, in order to publicize this war on Christmas, the right wing resorts to shading stories a little bit, like in the piece earlier about Pittsburgh's Sparkle Season. Figuring out that particular story took a little work. And who wants to work at this special time of the year?

So, in a gesture of peace and good will to people fact-checking him, including the hated website Media Matters for America (where I got this story), Bill O'Rielly has started telling lies that are ridiculously easy to debunk.

Yeah. I think it's the first time in my lifetime that the United States Postal Service has not had a spiritual stamp for people like you who would like them. And, again, disrespectful. Flat-out disrespectful, insulting you and your beliefs

For those of you interested, here is a picture of the religious stamp currently available.



Now of course that is a 2004 stamp. Apparently they overstocked religious stamps last year, and have a lot left over. That plus the fact that stamps are going up in January (to $0.39, which is a whole other story) lead them to use last years stamp in order to not waste a lot of our tax money. Kind of understandable.

But telling the whole story is not as easy as just flat lieing I guess.

There's a Very Secret Plan

Here are some quotes from good old Bill O'Reilly.

I mean, the ACLU and George Soros and these websites don't operate day to day without a plan. There is a plan.

. . . There's a very secret plan. And it's a plan that nobody's going to tell you, "Well, we want to diminish Christian philosophy in the U.S.A. because we want X, Y, and Z." They'll never ever say that.

Yes O'Reilly's right. There is a secret plan. But we, the very secret planners, are so cunningly crafty we have worked Bill O'Reilly right into our plan.

You see, O'Reilly is kind of a buffoon right? He's a dope. So when we get him to decry our insidious plan to destry Christmas, no one takes him seriously. See how evil we are? So go on, keep listening to old Bill O'Reilly. We evil secret planners have nothing to fear from him. Ha ha ha ha ha!

O'Rielly Runs Away from a Challenge

We are working on our next Catalogue of Commentators entry, which is proving a challange. In the mean time, archy has the story of big tough Bill O'Reilly and his decision to, well, duck a debate with people who might stand up to him.

Update on Bill O'Rielly

For those of you who don't know; Bill O'Rielly is preparing a section of his website to document those un-American jerks who criticized his comments on San Francisco. According to Think Progress, he made the following comments;

Some far left internet smear sites have launched a campaign to get me fired over my point of view. I believe they do this on a daily basis. This time the theme is O'Reilly is encouraging terrorist attacks. Unbelievably stupid. Not unusual with these guttersnipes.

. . . I'm glad the smear sites made a big deal out of it. Now we can all know who was with the anti-military internet crowd. We'll post the names of all who support the smear merchants on billoreilly.com. So check with us.

So just for clarity's sake, "smear" in this sense means telling the truth about what Bill O'Rielly said. I'd just like to note that we have also reprinted Bill O'Rielly's words without clarifying that he was apparently only joking. So if he is going to make a list of who the smear merchants are, I'd like to be on that list. Although, I have to admit, that's kind of unlikely, given our particular stature.

Ugly Words

It's interesting to me how the left wing totally dominates the media and yet we can all name at least three conservative commentators for every liberal commentator (assuming you are not counting reporters and anchormen (because, liberal bias or not, they have to pretend to be unbiased) or Hollywood types (because, well, that's stupid). If the media is so 100% liberal, why do they let so many conservatives on the air?

This creates a second problem for conservatives. Say I bring up the latest monstrous quote by Bill O'Rielly. In case you didn't hear it, here it is.

Hey, you know, if you want to ban military recruiting, fine, but I'm not going to give you another nickel of federal money. You know, if I'm the president of the United States, I walk right into Union Square, I set up my little presidential podium, and I say, 'Listen, citizens of San Francisco, if you vote against military recruiting, you're not going to get another nickel in federal funds. Fine. You want to be your own country? Go right ahead. And if al-Qaida comes in here and blows you up, we're not going to do anything about it. We're going to say, look, every other place in America is off limits to you, except San Francisco. You want to blow up the Coit Tower? Go ahead.'

The natural reaction to being presented with a quote like that is to suggest that liberals have said just as many ugly things. They pull out a few quotes by actors or Michael Moore to suggest that we Liberals hate them just as much as they hate us, right? But then I pull out some old gems like, "You people are walking around in the biggest fog that I have ever seen. You people need therapy! You people all need to be sequestered somewhere for a couple of months to get your minds right because you people can't even be honest with yourselves. You are walking delusions." from good old Rush Limbaugh.

Or maybe "We need to execute people like John Walker in order to physically intimidate liberals, by making them realize that they can be killed, too. Otherwise, they will turn out to be outright traitors." from sweet Ann Coulter.

Or Dennis Prager calling for a second Civil War. Or Michael Savage hoping one of his listeners gets aids and dies. Or G. Gordon Liddy giving instructions on how best to take out a federal agent.

And so on and so forth. So my plea to the Liberal Media is to let more liberals on the air. It's only fair; I mean we liberals have a banquet of insanity to choose from; conservatives are stuck with Michael Moore.

Fear and Loathing

Bill O'Rielly recently threatened those who called into his show and expressed views he disagrees with.

CALLER: . . . I got one point about the media. If you want true, no-spin facts about this case, you can't do better than mediamatters.com.

O'REILLY: Ah! All right. Anyway, we get another nut on the air. That's the worst part of doing this. Ninety percent of the callers are good, and then you get nuts. Now, we should go to their house. We should all go because I can get their addresses when they call in. We can trace them back, and we should all go over and surprise them.

So what exactly would you do at peoples homes Mr. O'Rielly. You and your fans, you come to my home, what are you going to do? Beat the shit out of me (which would be quite a task as I am full of it)? What exactly are you planning, Mr. O'Rielly?

Mr. O'Rielly has it in for Media Matters for America as we all know. Media Matters commentary isn't the best around, but what they are quite good at is documenting what the right says. If you go the website you can listen to O'Rielly threatening those who call in as plain as day.

And of course that's what really gets under their skins.