Update

Sorry for the low updates today. Very busy here. We are still trying to figure out what to do about Space Lobster. I really really want to get this figured out before Cheery gets back. Anyway our analysis leads us to believe he may or may not be dead. So we are going to put him in a box. Because that's what you do with things that may or may not be dead.

I am very traditional.

But then I have to figure out what to do with the box.

An Update on Space Lobster

I was able to get an Ichthyoligist to come in on short notice. And by an Ichthyologist I mean Puke. It turns out Puke has a masters in Marine Biology. Anyway after a careful examination Puke came to the conclusion that Space Lobster smells bad.

He really does. It is a reaction of his favorite aftershave lotion (Canoe I believe) with his natural lobster smell. But he doesn't smell unusual; he smells bad in quite a normal way.

Anyway she is continuing her investigation. Puke says that the information she is gleaning may be able to advacne human knowledge by a couple of minutes.

If Space Lobster is in fact dead, we will inform you of it immediately.

Another Piece of the Puzzle

Apparently Space Lobster referenced getting a bottle of wine sent to the office. Actually it was a bottle of Lee Kum Kee Mushroom Flavored Dark Soy Sauce I ordered from Amazon. I'm not sure what possessed him to drink it; but I can't think that much salt in his innards would be good for him.

Wikipedia to the Rescue

I just pulled up the Wikipedia article on Lobsters. It's quite long. Let's see what it says on Lobster anatomy.

Like all arthropods, lobsters are largely bilaterally symmetrical; clawed lobsters often possess unequal, specialized claws, like the king crab. The anatomy of the lobster includes the cephalothorax which is the head fused with the thorax, both of which are covered by the carapace, and the abdomen. The lobster's head consists of antennae, antennules, mandibles, the first and second maxillae, and the first, second, and third maxillipeds. Because a lobster lives in a murky environment at the bottom of the ocean, its vision is poor and it mostly uses its antennae as sensors. The abdomen of the lobster includes swimmerets and its tail is composed of uropods and the telson.

That doesn't seem like that will help me check his pulse.

Oh by the way, those of you who were upset about Space Lobster eating at a Sushi place, check out this note on the diet of a lobster.

Although many studies suggested that lobsters are primarily scavengers, feeding on molluscs and decaying animal matter, recent studies have shown that they primarily feed on live fish, dig for clams, sea urchins, and feed on algae and eel-grass. They occasionally eat other lobsters, too.

Anyway anybody out there who knows about lobster circulation please drop a note in the comments section.

A Medical Question

Hey I just noticed that Space Lobster, who manned the office over the break is in the same position he was in when I came in yesterday. I went over and shook him, but he isn't responding. Does anybody know anything about checking a lobster's pulse?

Monday Mail Bag

Hello Spacesters. It's Space Lobster again. "I will crush Captain Starfaller with my mighty pincers!"

This weeks mail-bag is a little sparse, which I find surprising. After all what other website gives you the chance to have your letter read and responded to by a mutant space lobster? And if that is too time consuming, simply leave a comment in one of the posts, and check back on Monday. Odds are good I will respond!

At any rate, let's get to today's letters. The first is from a Ahmed Bello in Sierra Leone.

I KNOW THIS PROPOSAL LETTER MIGHT BE A PLEASANT SUPRISE TO YOU AS WE DO NOT KNOW OUR SELVES BEFORE. I AM MR.AHMAD BELLO,A SIERRA-LEONIAN BORN 30 YEARS AGO,NOW SEEKING ASYLUM IN DAKAR-SENEGAL UNDER (UNHCR). I CONTACTED YOU AS A CAUSE OF MY SERIOUS SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON THAT CAN HANDLE SUCH A CONFIDENTIAL TRANSACTION OF THIS NATURE.

First of all, I had hoped that by this stage in human evolution you would have devoloped the lower case letter. I see other's of your time and species have; maybe you should learn from them Mr. Bello.

Secondly, If you think I am A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON you must be using the terms in a way I am unfamiliar with. I'm a lobster, not a person. I'm a space villain, so I'm not really trustworthy. And need I reference #1A31 when Emperor Reptilion trusted me to guard Captain Starfaller and he talked me into letting him go, and giving him the keys to the Emperors private space limo? That's doesn't sound very trustworthy to me. So I think that maybe you should return to the drawing board.

It was a pleasant surprise to get your letter though, I do have to give you that. It had been several days since someone had asked to use my (non-existent) bank account.

The other letters this week seem to have been in Chinese which I do not read or speak. I do read Space Candadian and Lunar Valley Girl, so it's not that I'm not good at languages.

So please send me some real letters so I can respond to them. This is Space Lobster, saying, "I will crush Captain Starfaller with my mighty pincers!"

Monday Mail Bag

Hello Spacesters!

This is Space Lobster back after a long haitus. Some of you may not remember my escapades along with the Collision Crew against that hideous man-creature, Captain Starfaller! My adventures, along with my allies Rangthor (the Gorilla from Ganymede), Emperor Reptilion, and Queen Buzz (leader of the Wasps from Eos), were broadcast on WEXN out of Philidelphia from 1953 to 1955.

Since that job ended some five decades ago I've been bouncing around, doing legitimate theatre and bit parts in music videos and the like. Anyway it's truely marvelous to have this opportunity to speak to my fans once again. If I can dust off an old chestnut, "I will crush Captain Starfaller with my mighty pincers!"

Anyway this week's letters seem to come exclusively from Africa, where this website is apparently very popular. Let's see what we have.

The first e-mail is from a gentleman by the name of Waheed Azeez.

My name is Waheed Azeez a merchant in Dubai, in the U.A.E.I have been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have onlybout a few months to live, according to medical experts. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone (not even myself) but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous,I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world.

First of all let me say, have you ever actually had all the money in the world? I have, although briefly. In episode #1A33 "The Great Space Bank Roberry" me and Spydrogirl succesfully took over the First National Bank of Space and had all of it's money. I have to say I found holding money in my pincers and throwing it up in the air was extremely satisfying. So I would say hold onto your dream of having all the money in the world!

As for your request for access to my bank account, as a semi-fictional character I do not have a bank account.

Now for letter number 2, this one from a Chrity Albert.

Dear,Good day.

I know that this mail might be a surpriseing to you but do consider it as an emergency. In a nut shell, My name is Chrity Albert.from the republic of Sierria-Leone in west Africa.The only child of late Dr.Williams Albert. I am looking for someone who can take me as a child or friend I promise to be obidient to you and I will bring happiness to your life,My late father was the managing director of Rainbow Gold and Diamond company in (KENEMA)Sierra-Leone.But he was poisoned to death alongside with my mother by his business associate, On one of their outing to discuss a business deal in oversea,However, after their death I managed to stay alone and when the war broke out in my country. I escape to near by village here,with every important files of my father.He has the sum of (US$5.2M)Five million two hundred thousand U.S Dollars only. This amount was deposited by my late father in one of the leading security company, Presently, I am saddled with the problem of securing a trust worthy foriegn personality to help me.

I have to say, Chrity, that were I to adopt you I would first have to teach you to write in complete sentances and puncuate correctly.

I have to admit I do have some experience in parenting. When Electrobrain used his personality reversal ray on Starkid, Captain Starfaller's ward (in episode #2A19 "My Ward, My Enemy"), he joined us in the Evil Gang for a while ("Evil Gang," by the way, not my idea). But I don't think that qualifies me to be a good guardian, as most of my parenting consisted of saying "Yeah yeah, hit him again" when he fought Captain Starfaller.

And, as previously discussed, I'm a semi fictional character, and don't have a bank account.

Our final "letter" actually comes from our comments. In response to the antiquated Irwin J. McIckleson's round up of links, one of the linked parties left this comment.

although he does not seem to find it all that fascinating

hey! i do too find it facinating!!! i just meant to say that because everyone else was covering it so well, i didn't feel i had much to add.

oh, and thanks for the link!

This website is always happy to provide links, apparently.

And that's it for this week. If you have any comments or questions about this website, email them to this address - politicalcombryant@gmail.com. Or leave comments in the individual posts and I may respond.

For now, let's end this with my fabled warcry! "I will crush Captain Starfaller with my mighty pincers!"

Junk Mail

Got an offer to become the next of kin of "Late Engineer Mark Otagaki," who was building a Kenyan Airway Bus, and has since passed on. Apparently, instead of keeping money in the corporations name, as I assume would be standard practice, they decided to put it in Mark Otagaki's name. His unfortunate death has frozen this money, and so it is up to me to free this money for the good people of Kenya. My favorite part of the letter is this phrase;

I know that a transaction of this magnitude will make any one worried and apprehensive but I am assuring you not to worry, as all will be well at the end of this endeavor.

So, I guess there's nothing to worry about.