Monday, July 18, 2005

Monday Mail Bag

Hello Spacesters!

This is Space Lobster back after a long haitus. Some of you may not remember my escapades along with the Collision Crew against that hideous man-creature, Captain Starfaller! My adventures, along with my allies Rangthor (the Gorilla from Ganymede), Emperor Reptilion, and Queen Buzz (leader of the Wasps from Eos), were broadcast on WEXN out of Philidelphia from 1953 to 1955.

Since that job ended some five decades ago I've been bouncing around, doing legitimate theatre and bit parts in music videos and the like. Anyway it's truely marvelous to have this opportunity to speak to my fans once again. If I can dust off an old chestnut, "I will crush Captain Starfaller with my mighty pincers!"

Anyway this week's letters seem to come exclusively from Africa, where this website is apparently very popular. Let's see what we have.

The first e-mail is from a gentleman by the name of Waheed Azeez.
My name is Waheed Azeez a merchant in Dubai, in the U.A.E.I have been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have onlybout a few months to live, according to medical experts. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone (not even myself) but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous,I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world.
First of all let me say, have you ever actually had all the money in the world? I have, although briefly. In episode #1A33 "The Great Space Bank Roberry" me and Spydrogirl succesfully took over the First National Bank of Space and had all of it's money. I have to say I found holding money in my pincers and throwing it up in the air was extremely satisfying. So I would say hold onto your dream of having all the money in the world!

As for your request for access to my bank account, as a semi-fictional character I do not have a bank account.

Now for letter number 2, this one from a Chrity Albert.
Dear,Good day.

I know that this mail might be a surpriseing to you but do consider it as an emergency. In a nut shell, My name is Chrity Albert.from the republic of Sierria-Leone in west Africa.The only child of late Dr.Williams Albert. I am looking for someone who can take me as a child or friend I promise to be obidient to you and I will bring happiness to your life,My late father was the managing director of Rainbow Gold and Diamond company in (KENEMA)Sierra-Leone.But he was poisoned to death alongside with my mother by his business associate, On one of their outing to discuss a business deal in oversea,However, after their death I managed to stay alone and when the war broke out in my country. I escape to near by village here,with every important files of my father.He has the sum of (US$5.2M)Five million two hundred thousand U.S Dollars only. This amount was deposited by my late father in one of the leading security company, Presently, I am saddled with the problem of securing a trust worthy foriegn personality to help me.
I have to say, Chrity, that were I to adopt you I would first have to teach you to write in complete sentances and puncuate correctly.

I have to admit I do have some experience in parenting. When Electrobrain used his personality reversal ray on Starkid, Captain Starfaller's ward (in episode #2A19 "My Ward, My Enemy"), he joined us in the Evil Gang for a while ("Evil Gang," by the way, not my idea). But I don't think that qualifies me to be a good guardian, as most of my parenting consisted of saying "Yeah yeah, hit him again" when he fought Captain Starfaller.

And, as previously discussed, I'm a semi fictional character, and don't have a bank account.

Our final "letter" actually comes from our comments. In response to the antiquated Irwin J. McIckleson's round up of links, one of the linked parties left this comment.
although he does not seem to find it all that fascinating

hey! i do too find it facinating!!! i just meant to say that because everyone else was covering it so well, i didn't feel i had much to add.

oh, and thanks for the link!
This website is always happy to provide links, apparently.

And that's it for this week. If you have any comments or questions about this website, email them to this address - Or leave comments in the individual posts and I may respond.

For now, let's end this with my fabled warcry! "I will crush Captain Starfaller with my mighty pincers!"

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