Monday Mail Bag

Hello Spacesters. It's Space Lobster again. "I will crush Captain Starfaller with my mighty pincers!"

This weeks mail-bag is a little sparse, which I find surprising. After all what other website gives you the chance to have your letter read and responded to by a mutant space lobster? And if that is too time consuming, simply leave a comment in one of the posts, and check back on Monday. Odds are good I will respond!

At any rate, let's get to today's letters. The first is from a Ahmed Bello in Sierra Leone.

I KNOW THIS PROPOSAL LETTER MIGHT BE A PLEASANT SUPRISE TO YOU AS WE DO NOT KNOW OUR SELVES BEFORE. I AM MR.AHMAD BELLO,A SIERRA-LEONIAN BORN 30 YEARS AGO,NOW SEEKING ASYLUM IN DAKAR-SENEGAL UNDER (UNHCR). I CONTACTED YOU AS A CAUSE OF MY SERIOUS SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON THAT CAN HANDLE SUCH A CONFIDENTIAL TRANSACTION OF THIS NATURE.

First of all, I had hoped that by this stage in human evolution you would have devoloped the lower case letter. I see other's of your time and species have; maybe you should learn from them Mr. Bello.

Secondly, If you think I am A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON you must be using the terms in a way I am unfamiliar with. I'm a lobster, not a person. I'm a space villain, so I'm not really trustworthy. And need I reference #1A31 when Emperor Reptilion trusted me to guard Captain Starfaller and he talked me into letting him go, and giving him the keys to the Emperors private space limo? That's doesn't sound very trustworthy to me. So I think that maybe you should return to the drawing board.

It was a pleasant surprise to get your letter though, I do have to give you that. It had been several days since someone had asked to use my (non-existent) bank account.

The other letters this week seem to have been in Chinese which I do not read or speak. I do read Space Candadian and Lunar Valley Girl, so it's not that I'm not good at languages.

So please send me some real letters so I can respond to them. This is Space Lobster, saying, "I will crush Captain Starfaller with my mighty pincers!"