After Fox's embarrassment over the weekend ("I'm metrosexual ? he's a cowboy") a lot of people are wondering just what a Metrosexual is. The term has recently entered the English language and right now it's definition is limited such phrases as, "Well it's when a guy is just kind of that way, you know?"
But never fear, I've tasked the members of the Make me a Commentator advanced center for Conservative Studies (headed by Mr. Irwin J. McIckleson) with determining exactly what makes a man a "metrosexual." They have just provided their results and I am ready to present them to you.
First of all, Metrosexualism only afflicts men. Women are apparently immune to it's debilitating effects.
They then tried to determine a simple and easy way to tell the Metrosexuals from normal men. Mr. McIckleson proposed the litmus test of men who bathe more than once a week, but being from the 1910's his proposal was rejected. Fortunately one of the sprightly young conservative lads had this suggestion; any male who has visited an art museum, of his own free will, is a metrosexual. This excludes grade-school men, junior high men, and high school men, but does not exclude college age men (as one of them put it, "If they don't know they are taking an poofy arts class, than they are probably already Metrosexuals").
So there it is, if you have ever or would ever visited an art museum of your own free will, you are a metro-sexual, and are inelligible to become the President of the United States.
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