The World Is Full of Crashing Bores

The world sure is a scary place for Conservatives. I mean look at this commentary by good old Ben Shapiro, Boy Prognosticator.

"Let's be honest for just a moment. This isn't about friendly competition. The only reason many of us care about the Olympics is because we want to watch American athletes beat the snot out of everyone else. The idea that the Olympics revolves around some phantom "family of nations" ideal is purely delusional.

. . . If there is a family of nations, it's a vicious, homicidal, perverted, degraded, dysfunctional, inbred group of mongrels. But more likely, the "family of nations" is a myth. And if even the Olympics can't hide the fact that the "family of nations" is a naively feverish, phantasmagorical vision, how can John Kerry and his followers stand behind such a patently false idea?"

Good use of the word "mongrels" there; that's sure not to offend anybody.

Here are the three positions on other nations.

The Supposed Conservative View, expressed by young Ben above. All the other nations are backstabbing dog, we live in a Hobbes state of nature where we have to expect all the other nations to stab us in the back constantly. Of course the upshot of this theory is that if the United States (and, of course, Israel) are the only decent nations on the face of the earth, why do we allow the other nations any illusions? This view of course negates the need for a State Department; other nations should damn well fall in line or get the crap beat out of them.

The Supposed Liberal View, also expressed by Young Ben. All the other nations are our friends. It's our duty to get along no matter what other nations or individuals do. Other nations probably know better than we do what we should do; so we should listen to them. Very few liberals actually have this view, of course, but it's a convenient caricature.

The Realistic View, shared by most liberals and conservatives. Some nations are our friends, some nations are our enemies. Our diplomacy and our military power are both essential to our safety. Other nations attitudes to the United States vary widely, from outright hatred to warm hearted friendship. It's realistic to work with those nations who can work with, and to take appropriate actions against those nations we don't get along with.

It's also worth noting that no nation on Earth likes the idea of being treated like a "mongrel" any more than we would.