Wednesday, March 12, 2003

The Further Adventures of Ben Shapiro, Boy Prognosticator

The latest issue just hit the streets, and it's red hot! In it, Ben, our hero, takes on Pat Buchannan. It turns out that Pat Buchannan has made some anti-Semitic comments in the past. Oh No!!

Wait a second, everybody knows that. But Shapiro isn't done. It turns out that Buchannan is opposed to free trade. See Buchannan has the ludicrous notion that if you take factories and move them overseas or south of the border, it might be bad for American Workers. With that kind of bizarre thinking, Shapiro is willing to classify him as as a dinosaur.

Buchannan also expresses an un-American concern over the large number of immigrants in the US. Well, Ben has an answer to that. "In his book, "The Death of the West," Buchanan writes that Mexican immigrants are problematic because they are "not only from another culture, but of another race," and that "different races are far more difficult to assimilate than different cultures." This is plain un-American. The color of your skin or the racial background of your parents should never disqualify you from becoming a true American. This is the most diverse nation on Earth, even if Buchanan would prefer that it not be." Stirring words from young Ben. Maybe he should share those thoughts with Michelle Malkin, David Limbaugh, and Paul Craig Roberts.

Buchannan is a particularly dangerous foe for Young Ben because he appears to have shape shifting powers. One moment he's a conservative dinosaur who doesn't represent modern
conservatives and the next he's a wily liberal cleverly teaming up with Socialist Lenora Fulani in order to run a political campaign into the ground.

Thank goodness Shapiro is out there fighting for justice.

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