Clarity

Some of us may feel some sympathy for the Iraqi people. Well, in a new article, Bill Murchinson explains the futility of that. You see the Iraqi's are Orcs, which you may remember appearing in the Lord of the Rings and the Two Towers. There are two sides in this war and against the Iraqi Orcs are pitted the Humans, Elves, and Dwarves. I would guess that the United States are the manly Humans, while the British get to be the fey Elves. Perhaps the Australians are the Dwarves.

As Orcs, there is little need to be concerned about their concerns or feelings or motivations for getting into this war. They are evil; case closed. The main weakness of the Humans and Hobbits is that we refused to see the Orcs for what they are, pure evil.

With a war as complicated as this, it's nice for Mr. Murchinson to simplify things so much.

In other news, Ben Shapiro, Boy Prognosticator, has revealed that the French may be spying on the United States. "The other day, I received a letter from a U.S. Air Force officer stationed on a base in Saudi Arabia. He wrote that coalition commanders expelled French soldiers from his base late last week. The French had apparently been caught hacking into the U.S. secret computer system. Their rooms had been evacuated, and British and American troops were allowed to move their own belongings into the plush surroundings the French had previously enjoyed. The officer reported that the information was 60-70 percent reliable, as a couple of semi-reliable sources had corroborated the story.

This story has been kept under tight wrap by the governments involved -- perhaps because the information is false. But if the French troops were indeed removed from the base for spying on the U.S. military, relations between our countries will have reached a new low."

One of the nice things about being a commentator is that there's no standard of proof whatsoever. An undocumented unconfirmed source puts France in a bad light? Lets run with it. Shapiro, using his amazing powers of Precognition says that he thinks France will become an Islamic nation soon, and then an even bigger enemy of the US (and one that has the bomb). So something to keep you up at night. Unless young Ben is wrong, but what are the odds of that.