My interview with David Limbaugh

I know what a lot of you are thinking. How could I get an interview with the great David Limbaugh, the brother of Rush Limbaugh? I mean I'm running just a tiny little weblog with hardly any viewers. How do I rate?

Well thanks to a new rhetorical device, invented by David Limbaugh himself in his article today, I don't need to interview him. I just need to imagine what he might say; and even that is iffy. After all check it this selection from his "interview" with the 9 little generals (i.e. the Democratic Presidential hopefuls, not including Wesley Clark).

Me: "But the 16 word non-deception (Britain still stands by its report) had little to do with our decision to invade. And surely you're not going to deny the manifest connection between Muslim terrorists and Saddam, are you? And about those weapons of mass destruction, are you saying they didn't exist and Bush and the entire intelligence community lied about them just because we haven't found them yet?"

T9LG: "We'll say whatever we have to say to make Bush look bad. This is an election cycle, you know."

Me: "OK, but aren't you happy we liberated the Iraqi people from this mass-murdering tyrant?"

T9LG: "Could we reserve comment until we see where the American people stand on that around October 2004?"

Because, you know, that's exactly how they would respond.

Well, here's my interview.

Me: "So, Mr. David Limbaugh, what do you have to say for yourself?"

DL: "Well, first of all, I'd like to thank you for letting me appear on your webpage. This is the most politically relevant weblog in the nation."

Me: "Oh Pshaw"

DL: "No I mean it."

Me: "Well, let's get down to business, who do you like in 2004."

DL: "Well it's tough; I mean all us conservative commentators like to pretend that all the Democratic candidates are a bunch of losers; did you see that article where I called them the Nine Little Generals?"

Me: "Yeah, I think I caught that one."

DL: "Hee hee hee. Nine little generals. Anyway I think that actually there are several strong Democratic candidates. Kerry has a good organization and a war record, which President Bush lacks. Dean is passionate and is really working up the base. Edwards, Gephardt--both are interesting candidates who are certainly smarter than my guy. And if Clark comes in? Oh boy."

Me: "Hey I've noticed that your speaking voice doesn't sound much like your writing voice."

DL: "Well that's because you are too lazy to work up a voice for me."

Me: "Let's not make this personal."

DL: "Why not, you stinkin' liberal? I don't need to take this. I'm out of here."

With that he stood up and slammed out. So there you have it, a Make me a Commentator first!