Sunday, October 26, 2003

Public Urination; A Modest Proposal

Here is my proposal. Any body making over $500,000.00 a year or worth over $5,000,000.00 should be immune to any penalties imposed by a municipal, county, state or federal ordinance prohibiting Public Urination.

Some of you might think that this proposal makes no sense; I would argue that it is a necessity for America to remain strong. You see the Wealthy drive this country, drive our economy. They are necessary for the machinery of capitalism to work. And if we deny them the right to pee as and when they like, they may leave this country. And thus they must be exempt from public urination laws.

Some might say that we are nation of laws and not men. Balderdash. Do laws make the wheels of industry turn? Do laws make water come out of our facets or power come out of our generators? Do laws provide us the food we need to survive? Have laws ever made a car, an airplane, a tank? No! It is men who have done these things. Wealthy men. And if a little public urination is what it takes to keep them working for America, than that is a sacrifice we should all be willing to make.

Some might say that it is unfair to enforce laws on the poor and the middle class and exempt the rich. Think if the hundreds of millions of dollars spent each year on lawsuits already. Everybody knows that the American Justice System favors the rich. Why not, in this instance, cut them out. I admit the wealthy may not be guilty of many counts of Public Urination, but if we can lessen the burden on the court even a little, isn't it worth it?

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