I thought I would take a break from ruining people's Christmas to let you all know that you can prevent people just like me from ruining Christmas by signing a petition. Christmas Ruiners everywhere fear the long arm of the petition.
You would be fighting against such terrible people as Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper, who called for his workers to use the phrase Happy Holidays rather than Merry Christmas. Mayor Hickenlooper changed the policy, however, after complaints. So I guess this petition won't stop that, as it's hard to stop something that's already stopped.
Macy's is having their employees say Happy Holidays rather than Merry Christmas. Ha ha ha. Nothing ruins a Christmas faster than those two corrosive words "Happy Holidays." They just suck the fun right out of Christmas.
In King County, WA, the libraries considered not allowing Christmas trees, but then the library board decided they were appropriate. Oops. This petition won't stop that either.
Target decided to not allow Salvation Army to solicit at their stores, on the grounds that they had a no-solicitation policy at their store, and making an exception for the Salvation Army was problematic. That might seem like a complicated issue to you--you might even feel some sympathy for Target's right, as a private company, to do what they feel best. Ha ha ha. Pitiful mortals, this is strictly another attempt by the evil liberal Target store to ruin Christmas.
By the way, did you know that the words Liberal and Evil are Synonyms? I didn't either, but it turns out they are. Ha Ha Ha!
This petition also cites the ACLU for suing over a Christmas Display. Oops, they lost the case. This petition won't help in that situation either. Also, although the ACLU files lawsuits in dozens of similar lawsuits each year, the only one this petition can find is one in which they lost. Still, remember this. Liberal Democrats are Christmas hating monsters.
Anyway hope you enjoyed this. I have to get back out there saying "Happy Holidays" to people and watching them cry.
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