Yes, I, Mr. Irwin J. McIckleson, Fictional 1910's Plutocrat, am here to escort you on a trip through the Liberal Coalition. Before getting to the Liberal Coalition I did have a few stories of my own that I thought were interesting and deserved comment.
First of all, I am heartened to see that the tradition of quackery is alive and well in this future age. Quackery is one of the pillars of any strong society; for how can a civilization thrive if it has not mastered all the arts of deception. And Kevin Trudeau certainly seems like a world class quack. Consider these words from his book. If you read the labels of everything you put in your mouth, you would see the name [sic] of various chemicals. All the chemicals listed are dangerous man-made chemicals. They are poisons. If you were to take any of those chemicals and ingest a large amount at one time, you would probably die. Therefore they are in fact poisons.
What a triumph of illogic! I hope you future men are smart enough to realize the obvious value of medicinal chemicals. Chemicals are necessary and life preserving, and I can only imagine that, 100 years hence, you have developed even more powerful Chemicals. But for those who are foolish enough to doubt the integrity of chemicals or the scientists who create them, it is good to know the quack will still be there to strike.
I also read an article which stated that the National Labor Relations Board is banning employers to fraternize during their off hours. Or as the headline puts it, "Big Brother Nixes Happy Hour." What abject cruelty. Even I have to marvel at the immense lack of concern for workers shown by this policy. In my day, we were known to be cruel to our employees, but forbidding them to enjoy each others company out of the factory? The thought makes me blush (or it would, had not an industrial accident removed the ability to blush from me).
Ultimately though, the purpose of cruelty to your workers has to be to inspire them to produce more. Thus punishing them outside of work is particularly pointless, unless the object is to make their life outside of work so painful they would prefer to work rather than leave the factory. But if that is the goal, it might be more practical to simply lock them in!
But enough of my fripperies. On to the Liberal Coalition.
AND THEN . . . has a fascinating discussion of secret languages, or languages known only to a very few. It is interesting to consider that there are truths that cannot be conveyed in simple English or Latin; but such must be the case. Still it's all a bit mystical for me.
blogAmy has a section on a man I take to be the Current Majority Leader in the Senate and his allegiance to the National Rifle Association. It provides an interesting study in how the interests of the Plutocrats do not always coincide perfectly. Certainly easy availability of firearms for our workers can be seen as a somewhat dangerous state of affairs, yet the Gun Making Plutocrats want to be able to sell their product. Apparently the Gun Making Plutocrats have largely succeeded in whatever struggle occurred. So much that now that Senate Majority Leader is in favor of not holding them responsible even if they should sell the gun to a lunatic or irishman!
According to a piece by Collective Sigh, former President Clinton has been offered a dowry of cows and goats for his daughters hand. Personally I would refuse such an offer, but each father has to make that decision on his own, I suppose.
LeftyBrown's Corner has some thoughts on Movie Films about Superheros. I gather they mean some kind of dime novel characters. I guess those could make interesting movies. Anyway he lists his favorite of those kinds of Movie Films.
Happy Furry Puppy Story Time has some complaints about how the United States Government serves it's most valuable citizens, the plutocrats. Apparently he is upset that a recent government bill benefits energy plutocrats far more than it does anybody else. To that I say Bah. Plutocrats made this country, so naturally they should reap the greater share of its rewards.
Dohiyi Mir has a discussion of how to handle bomb-throwing anarchist prisoners. Apparently it is the better part of wisdom to use such prisoners to implicate their fellow criminals. Also apparently the people President Bush has put in place to accomplish this have not been successful at convincing prisoners to aid them in the such for their enemies.
Respectful of Otters has a picture of an adorable child who is apparently the authors daughter. I have to say the art of photography has advanced considerably since my time.
Rooks Rant has commentary on how the United States need for Oil as a natural resource has led them to invade Iraq. I still strongly suspect that the cost of invading and extracting the oil will not equal the value of the oil produced. I also agree that if Oil is in limited supply it makes sense to take steps to minimize its use.
First Draft has some comments on the fact that the President apparently made rude gesture while in public? I must admit to be shocked that any United States President would have so little decorum as to make a gesture of this time. What has happened to the values of America, if such a thing can be brushed aside so easily?
T. Rex's Guide to life has a quiz one can take to find out what sort of humor one creates. I assume that now, with science having advanced so greatly, human nature can be efficiently and easily mapped through questionnaires of this nature. I'm sure that has positive effects as workers can be placed with people with which they will work the most hard.
And that's it for another week.
Hello Spacesters. It's Space Lobster again. "I will crush Captain Starfaller with my mighty pincers!"
This weeks mail-bag is a little sparse, which I find surprising. After all what other website gives you the chance to have your letter read and responded to by a mutant space lobster? And if that is too time consuming, simply leave a comment in one of the posts, and check back on Monday. Odds are good I will respond!
At any rate, let's get to today's letters. The first is from a Ahmed Bello in Sierra Leone. I KNOW THIS PROPOSAL LETTER MIGHT BE A PLEASANT SUPRISE TO YOU AS WE DO NOT KNOW OUR SELVES BEFORE. I AM MR.AHMAD BELLO,A SIERRA-LEONIAN BORN 30 YEARS AGO,NOW SEEKING ASYLUM IN DAKAR-SENEGAL UNDER (UNHCR). I CONTACTED YOU AS A CAUSE OF MY SERIOUS SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON THAT CAN HANDLE SUCH A CONFIDENTIAL TRANSACTION OF THIS NATURE.
First of all, I had hoped that by this stage in human evolution you would have devoloped the lower case letter. I see other's of your time and species have; maybe you should learn from them Mr. Bello.
Secondly, If you think I am A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON you must be using the terms in a way I am unfamiliar with. I'm a lobster, not a person. I'm a space villain, so I'm not really trustworthy. And need I reference #1A31 when Emperor Reptilion trusted me to guard Captain Starfaller and he talked me into letting him go, and giving him the keys to the Emperors private space limo? That's doesn't sound very trustworthy to me. So I think that maybe you should return to the drawing board.
It was a pleasant surprise to get your letter though, I do have to give you that. It had been several days since someone had asked to use my (non-existent) bank account.
The other letters this week seem to have been in Chinese which I do not read or speak. I do read Space Candadian and Lunar Valley Girl, so it's not that I'm not good at languages.
So please send me some real letters so I can respond to them. This is Space Lobster, saying, "I will crush Captain Starfaller with my mighty pincers!"
This is Irwin J. McIckleson, fictional 1910's plutocrat, welcoming you to another edition of Round the Horn. My fourth if memory serves. I'm afraid that today's may be a big abbreviated. We are having a bit of a celebration. I just fired my thousandth worker. I was so tickled I gave him bus fare home.
Apparently President Bush has nominated someone to the Supreme Court, a Judge John Roberts. All Facts and Opinion has some information on this gentleman, and I must say, he sounds like a delightful fellow. According to this, he is opposed to environmental protection and he's in favor of excessesive arrests, both strong plutocrat positions.
corrente has some additional information about Judge Roberts. Apparently he may or may not have been a member of a secret society (called the Federalist Society, although I assume they are also an occultist group, what with the mention of elves), and he gave advice to the Presidents Brother on helping his Brother win Election (although we do not know what said advice consisted of.
Liberty Street has some more information on Judge Roberts and also suggests that liberals fight as if they want to win, rather than being satisfied because President Bush could have picked someone worse. I must say, she has a point. In my negotiations, it's always important to set your goals high, forcing the other person to stretch.
Perhaps an experience from my past might help illuminate my point. A couple of years ago, some of my die cutters went out on strike, demanding a pay increase from a pittance to a pittance and a quarter. I put a stop to that. I had some associates collect bee-hives from around my summer cottage and we did thrust them into the midst of the striking employees. That put a stop to their lawless ways in hurry. And it was all because I refused to compromise on my desire to pay them only a pittance.
Bark Bark Woof Woof has some more information on this Rove blackguard we keep hearing about. Apparently there is some discrepancy between what Rove and a gentleman associate have said and what reporters, testifying in the case, have said. This could leave Rove vulnerable to the charge of perjury. I find, in my various legal troubles, that it's best to be strictly honest and upfront with the court. And then bribe everybody and their mothers out of the courtroom.
bloggg has a discussion on finding exactly the right purse or handbag to carry. I must say the designs are a little different than in my day, but they seem sturdy enough.
Dodecahedron has a suggestion for bloggers - we should all take a month off from watching television news. That will be quite easy for me, as the Television has yet to be invented here.
Science and Politics has a post on a recent literary release, a book about a person called Harry Potter. It sounds interesting enough.
Musing's Musings is traveling through the American Southwest and visiting Shakespeare and Marlowe performances. The mind boggles at who could be performing Shakespeare among the sagebrush, but perhaps the area has become more civilized in the intervening century.
And that is it for another week. One of the secretaries bought in some Anise and Almond Cake to celebrate my 1,000 firing, so I'm going to go get a taste. And them I'm going to fire her, as she obviously has too much time on her hands.
Hello Spacesters!
This is Space Lobster back after a long haitus. Some of you may not remember my escapades along with the Collision Crew against that hideous man-creature, Captain Starfaller! My adventures, along with my allies Rangthor (the Gorilla from Ganymede), Emperor Reptilion, and Queen Buzz (leader of the Wasps from Eos), were broadcast on WEXN out of Philidelphia from 1953 to 1955.
Since that job ended some five decades ago I've been bouncing around, doing legitimate theatre and bit parts in music videos and the like. Anyway it's truely marvelous to have this opportunity to speak to my fans once again. If I can dust off an old chestnut, "I will crush Captain Starfaller with my mighty pincers!"
Anyway this week's letters seem to come exclusively from Africa, where this website is apparently very popular. Let's see what we have.
The first e-mail is from a gentleman by the name of Waheed Azeez. My name is Waheed Azeez a merchant in Dubai, in the U.A.E.I have been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have onlybout a few months to live, according to medical experts. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone (not even myself) but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous,I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world.
First of all let me say, have you ever actually had all the money in the world? I have, although briefly. In episode #1A33 "The Great Space Bank Roberry" me and Spydrogirl succesfully took over the First National Bank of Space and had all of it's money. I have to say I found holding money in my pincers and throwing it up in the air was extremely satisfying. So I would say hold onto your dream of having all the money in the world!
As for your request for access to my bank account, as a semi-fictional character I do not have a bank account.
Now for letter number 2, this one from a Chrity Albert. Dear,Good day.
I know that this mail might be a surpriseing to you but do consider it as an emergency. In a nut shell, My name is Chrity Albert.from the republic of Sierria-Leone in west Africa.The only child of late Dr.Williams Albert. I am looking for someone who can take me as a child or friend I promise to be obidient to you and I will bring happiness to your life,My late father was the managing director of Rainbow Gold and Diamond company in (KENEMA)Sierra-Leone.But he was poisoned to death alongside with my mother by his business associate, On one of their outing to discuss a business deal in oversea,However, after their death I managed to stay alone and when the war broke out in my country. I escape to near by village here,with every important files of my father.He has the sum of (US$5.2M)Five million two hundred thousand U.S Dollars only. This amount was deposited by my late father in one of the leading security company, Presently, I am saddled with the problem of securing a trust worthy foriegn personality to help me.
I have to say, Chrity, that were I to adopt you I would first have to teach you to write in complete sentances and puncuate correctly.
I have to admit I do have some experience in parenting. When Electrobrain used his personality reversal ray on Starkid, Captain Starfaller's ward (in episode #2A19 "My Ward, My Enemy"), he joined us in the Evil Gang for a while ("Evil Gang," by the way, not my idea). But I don't think that qualifies me to be a good guardian, as most of my parenting consisted of saying "Yeah yeah, hit him again" when he fought Captain Starfaller.
And, as previously discussed, I'm a semi fictional character, and don't have a bank account.
Our final "letter" actually comes from our comments. In response to the antiquated Irwin J. McIckleson's round up of links, one of the linked parties left this comment. although he does not seem to find it all that fascinating
hey! i do too find it facinating!!! i just meant to say that because everyone else was covering it so well, i didn't feel i had much to add.
oh, and thanks for the link!
This website is always happy to provide links, apparently.
And that's it for this week. If you have any comments or questions about this website, email them to this address - politicalcombryant@gmail.com. Or leave comments in the individual posts and I may respond.
For now, let's end this with my fabled warcry! "I will crush Captain Starfaller with my mighty pincers!"
Yes once again it is I, Fictional 1910's Plutocrat, here to ride herd over these wild and wooly Liberal Coalition Members.
I apologize; my grandchildren took me to a wild west show last night and it has produced unfortunate giddyness and wild westism.
Anyway the first of our cowpokes is It's Craptastic, who has some words about the death penalty. The Republicans of your time are apparently in favor of something they call the Culture of Life. That's one of those phrases that seems to mean something until you think about it and it really does not.
Echidne of the Snakes has some words on Karl Rove and President Bush. I don't fully understand this Karl Rove situation, but he sounds like a bit of a bounder. And apparently President Bush is too loyal to let the bounder go. It is hard to discipline the help, but a smart plutocrat always does so. Better to solve a problem right off the bat than let it grow into a monster problem.
Consider this. The first time this Rove character lied and defamed a political opponent of President Bush's, President Bush should have taken him to the woodshed so to speak and gave him a taste of the lash. Then Rove would have learned not to act in a way that is displeasing to President Bush. Instead, President Bush, through a sense of misplaced loyalty, tolerated Rove's antics and is now in serious trouble because of it.
Rubber Hose has corralled up a bunch of links to articles on this situation on Karl Rove, although he does not seem to find it all that fascinating.
firedoglake finds the Rove situation more interesting apparently, and he has put together a list of links for those who are new to the Rove situation. Very interesting stuff.
Pen-Elayne on the Web has a section of reviews of Comical Books of the year 2000. Apparently they are still very popular, which is nice. I like Little Nemo in Slumberland myself.
Scrutiny Hooligans has a story on an agitator named Michael Moore who visited Utah and created some kind of ruckus in the community there. Apparently there has been a film made of it, so one can see what happened.
Speedkill has a piece on the 100 people who are screwing up America, and this Michael Moore person is first on the list. It is good to see that future America places an appropriate value on their plutocrats. In my day there were a lot of weak sister who would complain about how we treated our workers or safety or the like. In your future the people know better than to attack the plutocrats.
President Bush has done one thing that makes sense, according to THE NEWS BLOG. He has priorities the needs of the worlds Opium Producers. Opium, according to the latest scientific evidence, is a wonder drug. It increases muscle relaxation while enabling the mind to make logical leaps unheard of. I am surprised that this future world isn't enjoying the beneficial effects of opium constantly.
The Invisible Library has a story on night terrors that sit on your chest and keep you from moving. Apparently they aren't really monsters but some sort of disorder of the humors that keeps you from moving, and then your mind creates the monsters to explain why you can't move. This seems too complicated to me; I suppose you future people don't remember Occam's razor, but it says that the most simple explanation is most likely true. The simplest explanation is obviously that there really are a lot of monsters and hag sitting on people in the middle of the night. That's why I keep my night butler in my bedroom closet; to ally any potential night time problems.At any rate that's another round of links. Go and read them. And then read this blog some more too. I'm going to mosey on off into the sunset now. Yippie!
Volume II, as they say.
Yes this is Fictional 1910's Plutocrat Irwin J. McIckleson back for another look at the Liberal Coalition.
Let's start out with a website I found nearly incomprehensible - The Gamer's Nook. There is a nice picture, however, of a checkerboard. It's nice to know that in this future age of thinking machines and blinking lights there is still room for an old fashioned game of checkers.
In Search of Telford has the news that price for gasoline may soon reach $3.00 a barrel, which is an astronomically high price to pay for gasoline. I'll have you know that back here in the 1910s I pay three cents per gallon. I don't even really use it; I just buy it and store it in drums in the backyard. I'm planning on having a Viking funeral, when, and if, I should pass on.
Sooner Thought has a section on President Bush meeting the Luxembourg Prime Minister, whom he apparently feels is a "piece of work." I know what he means. Marie-Adelaide, Grand Duchess of Luxembourg (from my time) is somewhat of a piece of work as well; very opinionated. And she cheats at croquet (all Europeansns do, come to think of it, and most Americans).
The Countess, who sounds like she would have gotten along with the Grand Duchess, reports that apparently the laws of gravity work somewhat as they do in my time. So if you shoot a bullet into the air in a fit of celebratory fever, said bullet will eventually find its way back to earth. I have to say I'm surprised that you future peoples haven't figured a way to get around this gravity, but until you do, I agree with the Countess's prescription; don't fire guns up into the sky.
THE FULCRUM has a sad story of a former comrade who was killed in the line of duty serving in Iraq. War is never kind, which is why it is best avoided if possible. Plus it gets in the way of business (unless your business is war, I suppose).
Archy has a post responding to some sort of bomb-throwing anarchist attack in London. He argues in favor of bringing those responsible to justice, which strikes me as the right policy to follow. I've enjoyed London the times I've went, so I would like to express my condolences to Englanders who may have suffered in this tragedy.
Rick's Cafe Americain has more on the incidents in London. Apparently the perpetrators were what are called terrorists. I'm not sure if that's the same as saying Anarchist Bomb Throwers or different. Anyway he comments that President Bush has apparently decided to fight the Terrorists in Iraq so as to protect the western world? Maybe I don't really understand what is going on here - but if the terrorists are motivated by an ideology (like our own anarchist bomb throwers) surely this is somewhat of a foolish strategy. Can you shoot an ideology? Can you tie it down and trap it? I don't think so.
I know a little bit about this from my struggles to crush the Unions. You can't defeat bad ideas by force or coercion - frankly that usually made my unionists even more determined to hold onto their foolish ideas. Instead I would usually provide copious amounts of alcohol in order to persuade them to see that I wasn't such a bad guy after all. I don't know if that would work in this situation, but it's worth thinking about anyway.
Steve Bates, The Yellow Doggeral Democrat has further condolences for those affected by the tragedy in London and also reveals that the group who is apparently responsible calls itself the Secret Organization of al-Qaeda in Europe. I have to wonder about a "secret" group claiming responsibility publicly, but perhaps I don't understand how these terrorists think.
The Podunk Press (also known as Words on a Page) has some words on the recently passed 4th of July holiday and what it means. Very patriotic and inspiring words; it is good from my vantage point to know that Americans nearly a hundred years on still revere and support this country and its principles.
And that is it for another week. I am starting to enjoy doing these reviews, I have to say. Very educational.
This is Irwin J. McIckleson bringing you information from around this strange future world, by members of the Liberal Coalition. For those of you who don't know I am a fictional 1910's plutocrat.
AND THEN . . . has a story on a sort of marvelous ticker tape invention that allows parents to monitor what there children are eating at school. Apparently children in this modern age prefer unhealthy juice rather than cool refreshing coca Cola. I understand they've taken the cocaine out of Coke in this future age so maybe it's not as good for you.
blogAmY writes about some unethical practices by some pharmaceutical companies. I don't totally understand why she is so upset by this practice; everybody knows that the medicine show people are all filthy liars and quacks. According to her, some of the vaccines put out by big companies may cause damage to the brain; but fortunately Congress has acted to see that the companies involved can keep their money anyway.
LeftyBrown's Corner has news of an enormously popular comic book artist. The future is strange in some ways; in my day Comic books are disposable and the people who write and draw them are treated little better than peasants (I assume).
Collective Sigh has a picture of a medium sized fish on his blog, although he reacts as if it were enormous. Perhaps your future fish are punier than our fish. That's probably thanks to me and my friends dumping so much stuff in the water - you should thank us. If you are afraid of sharks now; think how much more afraid you would be if we hadn't done it!
Dohiyi Mir has news of a new President of Persia (what you future people call Iran). Apparently at one time he threatened United States Citizens by taking them prisoner? And now he is President of Iran. I think what you future people forget is how much the primitives of the world respect and admire strength. He probably benefited from being able to stand up to the mighty America.
Happy Furry Puppy Story Time continues this discussion of dealing with Iran. Apparently President Bush has stretched the military to thin, and they may not have the power to force his will on Iran. Happy Furry Puppy Story Time does suggest as an alternative to human soldiers, Mechano Soldiers.
Respectful of Otters gives another reason why such Mechano Soldiers may be needed. A growing contingent of Liberal Soldiers is speaking out, letting their voices be heard. While this might be troubling that they would speak out (generally being socially lesser), even soldiers don't want to die in vain.
The Mechano Soldiers would have another advantage as well; no need to eat. Apparently, according to LEFT is RIGHT, the plutocrat in charge of feeding our troops, a Mr. Halliburton, is serving expired food (I don't know what that means, exactly, but it doesn't sound good) and double billing the Government. While normally I would applaud such money making techniques; in this case a higher principle trumps them. That is, if you are going to skim, don't get caught!
Iddybud has some comments on this war in Iraq that is currently going on, and how it may hurt the Republican Party. I have to say, the problems in Iraq remind me of a phrase from our time, the White Man's Burden. We used it to justify all sorts of foreign excursions, but I never really understood the point to it. The cost involved in pacifying and controlling a native population never equaled the amount of profit that could be extracted. Of course there were those who believed in it; that it was our duty to help the poor benighted peoples of the worlds. Bah! People have to help themselves and make their own decisions.
That said, I don't agree with Rook's Rant, which proposes impeachment for President Bush. While certainly he has his problems if people aren't interested in hearing what he has to say, there will never be a successful impeachment. The lesson of Andrew Johnson has taught us that impeachment is impossible.
Finishing our journey around the Horn we have T. Rex's Guide to life who offers a more sober look at President Bush and his Republican Allies chances for ongoing success. President Bush may not face impeachment but that doesn't mean he might not face serious challenges in the road to success. And that is it for today. I am working on a further comment but will have to finish it up and provide it next week sometime.