Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Monday Mail Bag (On Tuesday)



Hi spacesters. I am sure that by now most of you have noticed that this feature comes out far more regularly on Tuesday than it does on Monday. I suggested to Cheery that we take a little license and change the name to Tuesday Mail Bag but she said that wouldn't rhyme.

So then I reminded her that it didn't rhyme now.

She said that no, it was that other thing. Alliteration. Right now it is alliterative.

I said I didn't think that was a word, and suggested we find some "T" word to put with Tuesday. Like Tuesday Totem Pole.

She thought that was silly.

I said that that it wasn't as silly as being called Cheery. Conversations rather broke down after that.

Anyway if you can think up a good Tuesday name for this column, feel free to post it in the comments section.

On to our comments corner.

Our first comes from abraceesq, and it concerns a post Bryant did linking to The Countess and dealing with the Father's Rights Movement.
Interesting article. Is a man protecting his rights always part of the "Father's Rights" movement? I suggest that you and your readers take a look at the following blog:
The blog has been ommitted out of mean-spiritedness and a lack of desire to help others profit from pain. To answer your question, any organization that helps men hurt and dominate women isn't worth a quarter cup of Venixian Pig Juice.

Our second comment comes from the ever reliable Random Goblin, who has apparently been in a rock opera. But, I hasten to add, I'm sure it was a soft rock opera. Probably no lobsters. Anyway this one is in relation to a post on Alternative Fuel Sources and the State of the Union.
Why would anyone be against alternative fuel sources?
Well, what if those alternative fuel sources ended up destroying some helpless earth creatures. I remember in Episode 2F23, I was teamed up with the Plutocrat from Pluto, when he tried to sell earth on a new fuel system that would revolutionize the way they did business. We told them the fuel came from rotting corn, but it really came from the Corn people of Fictimis 9. Their slave labor I mean. That bleeding heart Captain Starfaller said that it was immoral to work a peaceful alien corn people to death, so that scheme ended up going ker-plop. Oh well.


Let's go to the comments corner one last time. Traderrob wrote in, in response to a post on the proposed filibuster of Justice Samuel Alito.
Pleeeeeeeease don't filibuster pleeeeeease, pleeeease.
OK, but only if you promise to be my best friend.

On to our mail bag.

Our first letter is from Aaron Rand.
This message is critical. And nobody wants your money, or any information from you. It is about your life, is more serious than a heart attack, and you only spite yourself to not carefully read every word here, and more, as the truth will be proven to you.
You know what, forget this e-mail. Any e-mail that has to puff itself up so greatly, verily that e-mail is not worthy of my time.

Our second e-mail is from Eartha Kitt. It's an opportunity to buy Microsoft products. Oh how the Catwoman has fallen. On the other hand she did appear on the Merry Mixmas CD that Cheery and Bryant kept playing all through Christmas, singing Santa Baby. Which to be fair sounded pretty sexy.

Our third e-mail is from Kera Diop and is another request for my banking information. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn this one down. Let me explain why.
I am Mr.Kera Diop the Director of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance department of BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A) Senegal. In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of $5.5m in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer (ENGINEER CHRISTAIN EICH) who died along with his wife and two sons and his wife's parents on a Monday, 31 July, 2000, 13:22 GMT in a plane crash.
OK, this plane Crash occurred on July 31, 2000, at 13:22. Or 7-31-2000, 13:22. Now let's do some simple lobsteric algebra, and calculate the prime pincer derivative.

7+31+2000+13+22=2,073

2+0+7+3=12

1+2=3

Interesting, n'est pas? So when you reduce the number to its PPD you get 3. But wait, lets see if that lines up with the seminal pincer derivative.

7+3+1+2+0+0+0+1+3+2+2=21

2+1=3.

I'm sorry, clearly I cannot afford to get involved in such an ill-fated undertaking. The Lobster Gods never smile on activities in which the PPD and the SPD are the same, numerically. Hey those of you who are mathematics people - can you propose a date and time where the SPD and the PPD will be different?

Anyway that's it for another week. Or two. Depending.

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