Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Monday Mail Bag



Hello all. This is Irwin J. McIckleson. I intend to be traveling this Friday so I requested that I and Mr. Space Lobster exchange places for this week and next. I will do his mail bag feature and he will do my round the horn feature.

Oh Miss Pinksington is working out very nice. She can be a lively conversationalist, but also understands when I need to read or focus on work while we are traveling.

At any rate our first comment is from Kenneth Quinnell, which I must say is a nice respectable name. He was responding to
a feature involving finger puppets, which he apparently likes.
I'm not really sure why I like this, but I do. I find myself actually looking forward to the next one, so keep 'em coming.
I am reasonably well assured that Bryant does intend to continue the series this evening if possible.

The second comment comes from Random Goblin which is not a very respectable name. It puts one in mind of a little bundle of destructiveness. Randomness is the enemy of the modern man and so is mythicism! At any rate he was responding to a post about how President Bush may be out of touch with reality.
Of course Republicans are trying to distance themselves from Bush. You would, too.

And honestly, Bush isn't necessarily the human embodiment of Republican ideals, although they may have painted him as such in the past. Fact is, he never was.
This is an interesting point. Certainly it is wisdom to distinguish oneself from failures. In the few cases where my companies have had setbacks, I have always been careful to lay the blame at the feet of a sacrificial lamb of some sort. And the truth is, it is usually justified; most managers are flawed. Most people are flawed. So you just highlight their flaws and the situation resolves itself, without you having to take personal responsibility for your failings.

On to the mail. Our letter this week is very interesting. It is from Muniakin Andrey, who is the General Director of Novokuibyshersk Oil, which I assume is a Russian oil company.
I have sent you this mail because of the need to lopen discussions with you. I don't want you to misunderstand this offer in any aspect, if it is okay with you I ask for your full cooperation. I am Andrey Konovalov, the General Manager of Novokuibyshersk Oil an international affiliate of Yukos Oil and Gas Company based in Russia. Due to ill Health I have esophageal cancer, it has defiled all forms of medical treatment and according to the medical experts it is a terminal illness so I do not know how much longer I have to live.
That is very sad; but you can die assured that you have been successful in life having risen to the post of general manager.
I never had any real Friends in my lifetime because I never really cared for anyone but my business. But now I know that there is more to life than making all the money in the world. However, certain unfolding events has made it very necessary for me to seek your help, my company is fighting investigations and bankruptcy due to the Yukos Oil problems in Russia, most of my assets were seized due to this case.
This is a turn for the worst. Take pride in what you have accomplished and do not pine for what you do not have. You chose to focus on becoming a powerful plutocrat and you succeeded. You should feel a feeling of triumph at your success, not this self pity!

Although I guess it is normal for those weakened by sickness to seek out for others.
Recently I received a bulk payment from South Africa Ministry for my last contract there. I instructed them specifically not to send the funds to Russia because of the problems, but that the funds to be deposited with a Finance and Security company in Europe on hold. A huge cash deposit of Twenty-Five Million dollars was domiciled with a finance/Security Company overseas to my knowledge only. This is the last of my assets, now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself anymore, I therefore need you as a partner because you are a neutral party to help me collect this funds deposited with the security company and disburse it secretly based on instructions.

Because my time is short I have decided to give most of this money to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth. For all your good efforts you will receive 30% of the Funds and must disburse the rest based on instructions. I want you to understand my seriousness in this case and if you canhandle the job kindly contact me on this email for security purposes. I have all the necessary documents on hand; please contact me ASAP so we can discuss more.
Ah you wish me to acquire the money and hold it for you. This I can do. Simply have money wired to the First Morovingian Bank of New Bedford, account number MC341104999L!, and I will arrange for the disbursement of the funds as you require. I am quite used to handling such funds and will assure that it finds its way into good charities. I look forward to doing business with you.

And that is all for this week. I would imagine next weeks mail bag will be sparse due to the holiday season, however I will be here anyway. Enjoy Christmas all!

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