Monday, December 12, 2005

Monday Mail Bag



Hey spacesters. It's time once again to open up the Monday Mailbag and the Comments Cardbox to select this weeks winners. And what do our lucky contestants win? This weeks prize is the contentment that comes from knowing that we, here at Make me a Commentator!!! acknowledge your existence. Or, to put it another way, nothing.

I was on a game show in the sixties called "Who Wants to Eat a Pound of Seaweed?" Turns out I was the only one.

Anyway our first comment is from Earl, responding to
a post by Bryant on Saving Christmas (federal law prohibits Bryant from posting on anything but Christmas, or so I am told (by him)).
Give me a break. Why do you hate Christmas?
Bryant gave his response, but here is mine. I don't hate Christmas; I love trees. Thanks to the power of industry, in my time we have a new appreciation for trees. Every Christmas I like to go to the Tree Shelter and gaze upon the trees and contemplate their wonder.

For those who thought the above response surreal, you obviously missed
this earlier Monday Mail Bag. And, in all fairness, I don't actually go out and appreciate trees. If I'm lucky I think about nature for a moment or so, and feel guilty that I don't go out in it more. But the feeling passes quickly.

Kenneth of
T. Rex's Guide to Life commented on an incoherent story about Christmas. Wait, that should be a story about incoherence and Christmas. My mistake.
The incoherence problem is probably the biggest problem I face in debating or talking about politics -- whether it be in the classroom (particularly grading research papers) or in dealing with conservative commenters online.
I don't know a little insightful confusion can help you get from point A to point B without the necessity of hitting point C. Or something like that. You don't get to be an evil Space Lobster without cutting a few corners.

Turning to the mail bag we have a product guaranteed to make her worship me. I don't know who "her" is, but I certainly like the idea of being worshipped. I was worshipped once on a visit to the Giant Crab homeworld (in Episode 3D11 "Marrooned Beyond the Stars"), and I found it quite enjoyable. So let's see what this is all about.

Hmmmmmmm.

Yeah I'd better stick to letters of people asking me for my bank account information. Speaking of which, here's one from Mr. Emmanual Edet which promises important information.
Compliment of the season to you. I am sending you this private email to make a passionate appeal to you for assistance. Kindly accept my apology for contacting you this way and forgive me if this is not acceptable to you. My name is Emmanuel Edet: . . .
I'm sorry Mr. Edet, but your anti-Christmas greeting has tainted my feelings about you. Surely if you were a Christian or possessed of moderately good grammar, you would not use the generic greeting "Compliment of the Season to you." If you had said "Christmas Season" we could have done business. Well not really, because I don't have a bank account. But in theory we could have.

Anyway that's it for another week. Hang loose until next time. That's an order! And Merry Festival of Snow!

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