Monday, October 31, 2005

Monday Mail Bag (and gossip)



Hi everybody.

Cheery's announcement was pretty sparse yesterday so I thought I would fill you in on why Grumbly Muffin is no longer with us. We had our third year anniversary party on Friday (the date of our anniversary). Cheery had arranged for it to be at Chao's Dynasty, which is really quite a good Chinese Place. She requested no Lobster be served (which was a nice tough) and she arranged for Gazelle to be provided. Have you ever had General Tso's Gazelle?

You probably don't want to.

Anyway, she also arranged for plenty of champagne. Bryant ended up slipping out early. He's not really a party person, and he doesn't drink (he's Mormon, I think). So after he left, Grumbly started getting chatty. Among other things, she started with "Bryant has run this website into the ground and is addicted to failure," before moving onto "Cheery is a useless crybaby," and "Space Lobster makes no sense" (I suppose in retrospect I should have been upset as well, but I was kind of marinated at that point, and didn't really understand what Grumbly was saying.), before getting to "The Monster smells funny and doesn't give a damn about the website."

Well that didn't go over very well with the Monster.

The Monster said that he did care about the website and roared. Incidentally the Chinese spices improved his breath slightly, which gives you some indication of how his breath usually is. Anyway The Monster fired Grumbly on the spot unless Grumbly wanted to challenge his dominance through combat. Grumbly laughed in the Monsters face and said that she quit and she stomped out.

Incidentally, Grumbly was dressed hideously. She had like a blue blouse and tight red slacks. I think it was supposed to be patriotic. But the blouse was almost a teal? And in the yellow restaurant lights she just looked, well, she didn't look good.

Anyway in the silence that followed, Cheery said that Grumbly had a point; the Monster was gone for months at a time. So The Monster fired Cheery, but took it back when she started crying. Shortly after that I passed out, so can't really tell you what else happened. I do know that Saturday afternoon Bryant, Cheery, and The Monster sat down and started talking. Cheery is being moved to promotions and website design. I don't know exactly what Cheery is going to do as far as promotions go, but hopefully something. Bryant will be the only regular commentator. Me and McIckleson (who failed to attend the party, being fictional and all) will continue to fulfill our duties. The Monster is going to write a weekly travel column (yeah, we'll see how that goes). And we are going to have a new member of the staff in a few days. Well two actually. But I'm not allowed to say what happened.

I can note that Puke got a job at a real estate agency right down the street from where we are. I can also tell you her real name is Ashley. So if you ever see her, call her Ashley. It really torques her off. And Jean-Louis Crowley has accepted an offer to tour in the Ukraine and the Baltic States. He's also working on a remake of the classic song "Transylvania 6500." So that might give you a clue.

Anyway on to the mail bag and comments contents.

The first comment comes from A Christian Prophet, who has
a website. He was responding to a post by Bryant on the Miers nomination.
It seems that Harriet Miers has already been defeated. See The Christian Prophet blog.
This was predicted well before Miers withdrew, so point for accuracy. On the other hand the Christian Prophet's blog is pink, so seems less reputable. I don't know much about Christianity but I do know they favor manly colors like Blue and Brown and Black. Pink? Not so much.

In the mail bag we have a letter from Mrs. Kathy Olds of South Africa.
As a widow, I am saddled with the responsibility of seeking a genuine and an honest person who will assist us in investing this money in a highly profit yeilding ventures without the knowledge of my country(Zimbabwe)government who are bent on taking everything my late husband had afterconfiscating all his farmlands and investments in Zimbabwe
Have I got an highly profit yielding investment for you. Evil. Yes investing in evil can pay off in the short term and in the long term. Take my plan to conquer the world and crush my enemies in my mighty pincers? Now on the face of it that sounds like a bad thing. But I would have a positive impact on the economy. All the unemployed could be busy making statues of me. Think of it. Thousands of hands, no idle, making wonderful lobster statues.

But, as previously discussed, I have no bank account.

Anyway that's it for another week - hope you all enjoy yourselves.

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