Monday, August 15, 2005

Monday Mail Bag



And away we go. By the way I am wearing a very stylish wine colored smoking jacket, specially cut to fit my unique physique. Just thought I would mention that I have taste.

I'm really a very stylish lobster.

Anyway on to this weeks mailbag. Our first comment comes in response to
this post about Ben Shapiro. Incidentally we are having trouble linking to specific posts right now, Cheery tells me. The post is called "We've Got the Whole World in Our Hands," if that helps you find it. Anyway here is the comment, from Chrystie (who has a fabulous blog of her own).
Well said! Hope you don't mind if I link to your blog. Ben Shapiro dose "NOT" speak for me! Now the true majority of Americans. How dare he -- he's nuts, suicidal. Hey Shapiro, if you want to throw your weight around, head for your nearest Recuitment Office and sign-up! Do "your" tour of duty, and while your at it make sure you take all your of-age kids, grandchildren (if you have any), neices, nephews and you know, all your Republican/Neo-Con supporters with you.

Our troops could, well... "really use some help!" Ya know!

Ben Shapiro: Shut the hell-up.

Political Comment: 10 Thumbs-up!
I must say we here at Make me a Commentator!!! are in favor of people linking to us. So thank you. And anybody else reading this blog who wants to link to us, that would be ok too.

As for the specific criticisms of Ben Shapiro, frankly he reminds me a lot of Commander Bullfrog of the Venusian Vengeance Seekers. He led his armies to conquer earth (in episode 1A28, Invasion from Venus); and was successful for a while. He put lily pads in the reflecting pool at the Washington Monument, which I always thought was a nice touch. Anyway eventually the people of earth rose up and drove him off, led by Captain Starfaller. They couldn't abide extra-terrestrial domination.

Meanwhile my various schemes focused on making money have led me to a lifestyle which allows me to wear wine colored smoking jackets. The moral, Mr. Shapiro, go for the cash, not the land. People can accept the loss of money; they won't like it, but they can deal with it. But people can't deal with losing their land.

Anyway, while I think that Mr. Shapiro has a lot of growing up to do if he's going to be a successful purveyor of evil, I'm not sure if he really fits this description offered anonymously.

What a fucktard. Ben Shapiro, not you.
I've been assured that this is not a child's blog, but still that kind of logic would never have been used by me and my evil space buddies (except maybe by Princess Porcupine).

You should follow the example of Random Goblin, anonymous. There's a guy who has some very trenchant and clever things to say. Take this response, in
a post about Rush Limbaugh's attack on freedom of speech, entitled "Wouldn't It be Wonderful."

No, he's right! It'd be great if we didn't have freedom of speech! Then we could shut HIM down!
I am, of course, in total agreement with Random Goblin; this Rush character needs to go. After all America is supposed to be a melting pot of ideas and ideals where evils from throughout the universe can come together, meld their visions, and get stopped by Captain Starfaller. Well hopefully not that last part, but it did seem to often work out that way.

Anyway I can't let a week go buy without discussing ongoing efforts by people from other parts of the world to get their hands on my bank account information. First of all let's go back a few weeks to the very first e-mail I responded to, from a mister Waheed Azeez. The bit I quoted read like this;

My name is Waheed Azeez a merchant in Dubai, in the U.A.E.I have been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have onlybout a few months to live, according to medical experts. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone (not even myself) but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous,I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world.
Well this week I got a letter from Hasham Ahmed which reads, in part, like this.
. . . I escaped death but sustained a very serious internal injury that leads me to have been diagnosed with esophageal cancer. It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a month to live, according to medical experts.

I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone (not even myself) but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people because of my closeness to Saddam Hussein first son Uday Hussein and only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world. Now that Allah has called me,I want Allah to be merciful to me and accept my soul, I have decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth.


What a coincidence! Two men, one in the U.A.E. and another in Iraq having esophagael cancer and describing their life in almost precisely the same manner. What are the odds? It's amazing.

Actually, being a highly developed space lobster, I suspect these two are the same man and he doesn't have esophagael cancer at all. He's what we call a con-man, a sort of low grade evil-doer. They can be useful (I teamed up with The Illusionist from Illidon once, in episode 1A14 "To Con a Captain"), but they aren't really all that evil.

After all have they ever "crushed Captain Starfaller in their mighty pincers?"

And with that stirring ending, that's it for another week. Keep leaving those comments and sending in e-mails!

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